Pathetically in Love With You
by ilovefood13
Summary: Bella Swan is in love with her best friend's brother, but he doesn't even know she exists... or so she thinks. However, things start to change one night after they share a steamy kiss. Will Bella get her happily ever after? BxE
1. Prologue

Bella Swan has a major problem. Well, she has a lot of problems, but one main one seems to keep coming back to haunt her no matter how hard she tries to escape it. She is in love with her best friend's brother, and there is absolutely nothing she can do about it. She has tried dating other people, but it never worked out. After all, none of those boys could compare to Edward Cullen. And she can't even talk to her best friend about it, because Alice would either A) get super mad and refuse to talk to Bella ever again or B) squeal and jump around and then think of a master plan to seduce her brother.

Bella can't talk to her parents about it (not that many teenage girls talk to their parents about boys). Her dad, Charlie, would flip out and never let her go to Alice's house anymore. He would probably bring out his gun, too. And try to find some charge to arrest Edward. Being the chief of police in a small town has its perks. Bella's mom was out of the question, too. Renee lived in Phoenix and was so wrapped up in her own world (and new husband, Phil) that Bella hated to bother her with anything.

So Bella was stuck. She didn't know what to do, and she had no one to turn to. But she tried to be content. She lived her life pretending that she wasn't pining after her best friend's brother. She looked forward to spending the night at Alice's house for a different reason than everyone assumed. It hurt sometimes, especially whenever Edward brought home a new girlfriend, which was often. And Bella knew that she was little more than another sister to him.

They had a handful of classes together, even though he was a senior and she was only a junior. They shared math and biology. It gave Bella the perfect opportunity to talk to him if she wanted to, although in reality, he ended up initiating almost all school-related conversations because he had questions and she understood most of it. The rest of the time, however, he ignored her unless he was forced to talk to her out of politeness. Those conversations never lasted long. And yet Bella etched each word in her heart. She filled her heart with conversations with Edward, because she was afraid that that was all she would ever get from him. She was wrong, but maybe it would've been better if she were right.


	2. Ch 1: The Initiation

Bella was greeted by the delicious smell of fresh pancakes as she walked down the stairs. She had slept over at the Cullen's again, and Emmett and Alice were already up, cooking breakfast. They turned when she walked in.

"Hey, Bells." Emmett greeted her with a waving spatula. "What's crackin'?"

She laughed. "Morning Emmett. That smells good."

"Breakfast will be ready in five minutes," Alice said, setting the table. "Why don't you go wake up Edward?"

Emmett started laughing. Bella looked at him funny, but shrugged her shoulders and started up the stairs again.

Edward's door was closed, and Bella didn't feel comfortable just barging in on him, but when he didn't answer her knock, she had no choice. She cracked the door open and stuck her head in; she was not prepared for what she saw.

Edward was still fast asleep, looking as handsome as ever, but that was not what upset Bella. Lying next to him, or rather, on top of him, was a blond. A very naked blond. Bella couldn't see her face, but knowing Edward, she was beautiful. And it certainly didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened in this room the night before.

Bella could feel the tears well up in her eyes, and she was tempted to just leave the room, but she knew that Alice would just send her right back up here later.

"Edward," she whispered after regaining her composure, trying not to disturb his, uh, partner. "Edward. Wake up. Breakfast will be ready in five minutes."

He didn't move. Bella sighed. She was going to have to go in.

She gently shook his shoulder, trying to avoid the blond.

He groaned, and cracked open one eye. The brilliant green pierced straight into her soul.

"Yes?"

Even half asleep he could still smirk at her.

Bella knew that her face was bright red. It was more than obvious that he wasn't wearing clothes, and the thought made her uncomfortable. Especially since his "friend" was nude as well.

"Alice said that breakfast would be ready in five minutes," Bella whispered.

He nodded, and then closed his eye again.

Bella quietly slipped out, closing the door behind her.

She entered the kitchen with a bright red face. "Alice, how could you?" she demanded.

Emmett and Alice burst out laughing.

"You knew!" Bella accused them. "You _knew _that he wasn't alone up there! I can't believe that you did that to me!"

"I'm sorry Bella," Alice choked out between peals of laughter. "But it's an unwritten rule in the Cullen household that whoever comes downstairs first makes breakfast, and whoever's last wakes up Edward. Lucky for me, I was neither first nor last this morning."

"Alice! That's so not fair," Bella insisted as she sat at the table. "I'm not part of your family."

"Bella, you're here so much you practically _are _family," Alice insisted.

"And nothing says 'welcome to the family' like waking up a naked Edward," Emmett joked.

Bella just glared at them both. "I'm gonna get you guys back for that one."

"Oh?" Emmett arched an eyebrow. "And just how are you going to pull that off."

"Just you wait," she promised. "One day, when you least expect it, I'm gonna pull a fast one on you, and you'll regret ever forcing me to wake him up."

Emmett just laughed. Bella wasn't exactly the most intimidating person in the world.

At that moment, a ruckus was heard upstairs. A door slammed, and then a woman's voice shouting something indecipherable. There was more banging, then finally loud footsteps coming down the stairs. Bella saw a familiar flash of blond rush by the kitchen before hearing the front door open and slam shut.

Moments later, Edward appeared in the kitchen doorway. He had thrown on some pants, but left his shirt off. His hair was disheveled, the epitome of sex hair, and Bella thought that he had never looked more handsome. Her heart speed up at the sight of him, but she kept her head down to avoid his eyes. She was still embarrassed about waking him up.

"Morning, brother," Emmett boomed. His laughter almost shook the house. He had always found Edward's escapades amusing.

Edward nodded toward his family before taking a seat at the table.

"It's so nice of you to finally grace us with your presence," Alice said sarcastically before placing a platter of finished pancakes in front of him.

Edward just shrugged before placing three pancakes on his plate and grabbing the syrup. Bella waited until he was finished before serving herself. Alice noticed this, but just rolled her eyes at her brother's rudeness. He'd never acknowledged Bella, and she always became strangely quiet when he was present. It was like there was some sort of strain between the two of them, but Alice didn't know why. But she decided that she would talk to her brother about it. She wasn't happy that he was being rude to her friend.

"So Edward," Emmett said as he joined the other three at the table, "who was your, uh, friend?"

"Fuck off Emmett."

"My, my," Emmett replied. "Such language, little brother."

"Yeah, there are ladies' present," Alice reminded him, gesturing toward herself and Bella with her fork.

Edward just rolled his eyes and continued to eat his pancakes. He had a hangover from the party the night before, and he wasn't in the mood to deal with his pesky siblings.

"Well?" Emmett persisted.

"Well, what?" Edward asked, growing even more annoyed.

"Who was she?"

"Tanya."

The entire room tensed. Alice and Emmett shared a look, silently deciding which one would bring up the elephant in the room.

"Um, Edward," Alice hedged. "Do you think that was wise?"

Edward looked at her condescendingly. "Not particularly. One night stands rarely are."

The other three were momentarily stunned by his callousness. And bluntness. And foolishness.

"Edward…" Alice tried again.

"Alice," he interrupted her, "I'm really not in the mood for one of your lectures."

"I know, Edward," she said. "But _Tanya?_ Tanya _Gibson_? You already broke her heart once. Do you feel some obligation to continue to break it until there's nothing left?"

Edward sighed, tired with the conversation and annoyed with his headache. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, trying not to lose his patience with his sister. He knew that she meant well, but she just didn't understand him.

At that moment, two Advil and a glass of water were pushed toward him. Edward looked up into the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes he had even seen.

_Bella_. Her very name gave him shivers, though he felt he had no right to even be in the same room as her. He took the Advil from her gratefully, but when he tried to thank her, she refused to meet his gaze. She blushed, but did not look at him, and after a few minutes, he stopped trying. He wondered how she seemed to always know what he needed. They hardly ever spoke, but she always silently cared for him. He knew that fact meant little; truth be told, she cared for everyone in much the same manner. But he always hoped that he was perhaps a little special. A foolish hope. After all, he never stood a chance. She was much to good for him.

He turned his mind back to the conversation to find Alice still lecturing him on how stupid he was.

"Alice," he interrupted her tirade, "I don't need my little sister's advice on my love life."

"Love life," Emmett snorted. "Where does love enter the equation?"

"Shut it, Emmett," Edward threatened. "We can't all have our own Rosalies."

Rosalie was Emmett's girlfriend. They had been together since last year when they were seniors in high school, but they had liked each other long before that. Emmett's face lit up at the mention of her name.

"I know I got lucky," Emmett said. Edward snorted. "But that doesn't mean that you can't."

"Um, Emmett," Bella said. "I'm pretty sure that Edward's the one who got _lucky _last night."

The other three stared at her in stunned silence for a moment before Emmett burst out laughing. Alice and Edward joined him in a moment. Bella blushed. She didn't mean to say anything, but the comment just slipped out. She hid her face beneath her hands, afraid to look at Edward. He must think her a complete idiot now, not that he thought her so intelligent before.

They were still laughing when they heard the front door opening. A moment later, Esme popped her head inside the kitchen.

"Hey kids," she greeted them, stepping into the room. "How was everything while we were gone?"

"Everything was fine, Mom," Alice replied. "How are the grandparents?"

Carlisle and Esme had gone to visit Carlisle's parents in their nursing home for a few days. Carlisle's dad had been really sick lately, and they were trying to spend as much time as possible with him. They left their children behind so that they didn't have to miss school.

"They're about the same. No improvements, but they aren't doing a whole lot worse either. They want us to bring you guys next time we visit. Edward, honey, are you okay?" Esme looked at her middle child with concern. She didn't miss the grimace on his face from his headache.

"I'm fine, Mom," he tried to reassure her, but she still looked at him suspiciously. She nodded, however, and let the matter drop. Carlisle joined them in a moment, and the family had a nice breakfast together.

Bella finished eating and immediately began to do the dishes.

"Bella," Alice called from her place at the table, "You know you don't have to do that. You're the guest."

"I thought I was just initiated into the Cullen family today," Bella teased with a smile. Alice and Emmett burst out laughing while Edward, Carlisle, and Esme looked around trying to figure out what was going on.

"Initiated?" Carlisle asked, amused.

Bella said nothing as she turned back to the dishes. Emmett and Alice could deal with the questions, considering what they had put her through that morning.

"It's an inside joke, Dad," Alice clarified. "Bella's just trying to find excuses to do chores. Although why, I can't figure out."

"Well," Bella began, "You and Emmett made breakfast, and Carlisle and Esme just got in, so I thought I'd help out a little. It's not like doing the dishes is that hard."

"But Edward hasn't done anything today," Alice pointed out.

"He's probably tired from last night," Emmett smirked, earning him a kick under the table from Edward.

"Late night, sweetie?" Esme questioned.

"Yeah, Mom," Edward mumbled, not looking at his parents.

Alice coughed not-so-subtly to get Edward's attention, and when he looked up, she motioned toward Bella's back. Edward glared at her, then reluctantly got up and moved toward the sink.

Bella was just finishing up a plate when she felt someone stand close behind her.

"Here," Edward said in his velvety voice, grabbing the plate from her. "I can finish up."

"That's really not necessary," Bella insisted, reaching toward the plate again, but he held it out of her reach.

"Yes, it is. I insist. Chivalry demands no less. And besides, my sister would eat me alive if I allowed you to continue."

Bella raised her eyebrows at his chivalry comment, but didn't mention it. She could scarcely breathe when he was this close to her, and she didn't want to pass out in front of the whole family.

"Well, if you absolutely insist," she said as she moved aside to allow him access to the sink.

"I insist."

She glanced at his face again, and he smirked. Did he know the effect he had on her? She thought not, but she couldn't be sure. She would die of embarrassment if he ever found out about her feelings for him. It was hard enough to endure Alice and Emmett's endless teasing, but she knew that that was all in jest, and they didn't mean anything by it. They didn't even know how true their teasing was. But to be teased by the one she loved, that would destroy her. It was torture enough to see him everyday, to be so close to him, and know that they would never be together. They were just too different. He was in a class by himself, and she didn't belong anywhere near him. The thought saddened her.

She returned to Alice's room to gather her things before leaving. She passed by his room, and saw that his bed was still rumpled, the sheets disturbed. She sighed. They had no idea what it had done to her heart to see him in there with another girl. She should have expected it. She should get used to it. But she just couldn't. It hurt to much, and that kind of pain was too hard to get used to.

She turned away, and gathered her things. She needed to get out of this house before he drove her crazy.

_It may already be too late_, she thought. A tear escaped down her cheek. Yes, it was too late. She was already crazy for him. And now all she could do was hide it and hope to one day get over him. _I hate my life_.


	3. Ch 2: Biology Class

"Alright class," Mr. Banner said as he walked into the classroom. "Everyone get out your labs. It's going to take almost the whole class period, so let's get going people!"

Bella looked around for her lab partner, Angela, before remembering that she was sick. Bella raised her hand. "Mr. Banner, Angela's not here today."

"Then join another group."

Bella nodded before looking around. She didn't have that many friends in this class, and she wasn't sure which group she should work with.

"Bella!"

She turned around to find Tanya walking toward her.

"You can work with us, if you want," Tanya offered. She was partners with Edward. They had been going out at the beginning of the school year, so naturally they had become partners. Unfortunately, their relationship hadn't lasted past September, and now they were stuck with each other for the rest of the year. It was awkward, and Tanya was always looking for a buffer zone, of sorts.

Bella gratefully followed Tanya to their lab station.

Edward barely glanced up as they approached. He was preoccupied with setting up the equipment.

Bella quickly realized that Edward was the "smart partner" of the two. He basically did everything, unless he was physically unable to do multiple tasks at the same time. Then he commanded Tanya to help him, and usually ended up reprimanding her when she messed up. Bella felt sorry for the girl. She was really trying; she just wasn't as smart as Edward.

Today, however, Edward virtually ignored Tanya. Instead, he told Bella what to do and didn't even look at his ex. Bella was grateful that she knew what she was doing; it would have been humiliating to have Edward yell at her.

Edward was grateful that Tanya had finally asked a _smart _person to join their group, but at the same time he was pissed that she had picked Bella. It made it so much harder to concentrate. She kept distracting him, without even knowing it. It was so frustrating to be so close to her, and yet know that this was as close as he could afford to get. _Lab partners_, he scoffed. _Not even regular partners. Certainly not friends. Barely even acquaintances_. _I'm so pathetic._

Their group finished first, mainly because Edward was super fast at labs. As soon as they recorded their data, Edward sat down on the other side of the room and turned on his iPod, ignoring the rest of the world.

Bella gave Tanya a questioning look, but she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Sorry about that," Tanya said. "He's not usually _that _much of a jerk."

"Why are you even partners with him?" Bella asked, although she knew the gist of the story. "He treats you like trash."

"Yeah, well, it's hard to say no to that face, especially when you're dating it. Which I'm pretty sure is the only reason why he even bothered to ask me. He definitely doesn't need my help. I just write down what he tells me to write, and according to him I can't even do that right."

"You don't have to let him treat you like that, you know."

Tanya sighed. "Yeah, I know. But-" she hesitated- "it's hard not to when I'm still in love with him." Her voice dropped on the last part.

Bella's heart went out to this poor girl. Edward took advantage of her affection without the slightest hint of guilt, and Tanya only encouraged it so she could be closer to him.

"Oh, Tanya."

Tanya just shrugged. "It's okay, Bella. It's not like it's your fault."

"Even so, it just seems so wrong. I don't know how those kids turned out so different," Bella said, referring to the three Cullen children.

Tanya laughed. "You have no idea how surprised I was when I learned that Edward and Alice are related. I never would've guessed."

Bella opened her mouth to respond when she was cut off by the bell. Bella jumped, surprised. She hadn't realized that so much time had passed.

"See you later," Tanya called to Bella as she gathered her stuff.

"Yeah, see ya."

Bella turned to leave the classroom when she caught Edward glaring at her. She paused for a second, before blushing and hurrying out of the room. She hoped that he hadn't overheard her conversation with Tanya. After all, it was more than clear that he didn't like Tanya anymore. _Well_, she thought, _he shouldn't have been listening anyway_. And maybe he hadn't heard anything. His headphones _were _in. Bella shrugged. It's not like it mattered. In light of her math quiz next period that she hadn't studied for, Edward Cullen's glare was insignificant.

* * *

"I don't treat her like trash," Edward said as he came up beside Bella later that day. She was retrieving some books from her locker before heading over to the cafeteria to meet up with Alice.

"It's rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations, Edward."

"That's beside the point," he insisted. "And I don't treat her like trash."

Bella cocked an eyebrow. "Then I shudder to think of you being rude to her."

"It's not my fault that she doesn't understand the labs."

"You could at least pretend to help her understand them."

"Why?" he asked. "She still gets the A, and I get to spend as little time as possible with her."

"You are such a jerk." Bella started to walk away from him, but he cut her off.

"What? Why?"

"Because you are an insensitive idiot who only thinks about himself," she answered. "And it's so sad because I know your mom taught you better. Did it even occur to you that maybe she still likes you, which is why she hasn't mentioned any of this to you before?"

"What?" Edward was shocked. Clearly he had never even tried to see the situation from Tanya's point of view.

"Exactly." Bella started to walk away again, and once again, he stopped her.

"Look Bella, just wait for one second. Okay, yeah I did know that she still liked me, but I thought that if I was rude to her, she would get over it."

"Nice. Well, it didn't work, so maybe you should be civil to her once in a while."

Edward ducked his head, ashamed. It wasn't so much that he regretted his treatment of Tanya, but more that he regretted that Bella was so offended by it. He didn't want her mad at him. He wasn't even sure why it suddenly mattered so much to him, but it did.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said. "And I'll apologize to Tanya tomorrow. Will that work for you?"

Bella sighed. "Edward, it's not about whether or not it works for _me_. I should have nothing to do with this. I just think that you need to treat her, and all women for that matter, with a little more respect. We aren't just vessels for sex, you know."

Edward stared at her for a long moment before bursting out laughing. "I'm sorry, Bella. I know what you're saying is true, but the way you said it was just so funny."

She smiled. She loved his laugh. _What I wouldn't give to make him laugh for the rest of forever_.

He saw her smile and knew that he was forgiven, for the moment. They continue to talk until they reached the cafeteria doors, where they parted ways. Bella went inside to meet Alice and Edward started toward the parking lot. He glanced back, watching her make her way toward his sister. He sighed. Tomorrow he would have to have a long talk with Tanya. He was so whipped it was pathetic.


	4. Ch 3: The Christmas Party

Bella was sitting on her bed, reading a novel, when her cell phone rang.

"Hey Bella!" Alice exclaimed. "You're coming to our Christmas party, right?"

Bella laughed at her friend. "Of course Alice. You would never let me ditch."

"And don't you forget it." Alice half-joked. "I already picked out the perfect outfit for you, so you don't need to worry about that. The party officially starts at six, but most people don't show up until later. Just come over after you and Charlie do whatever it is you do on Christmas Eve. Oh, and you can totally spend the night if you want; I already asked."

"Thanks for the offer, Alice, but I think Charlie would prefer that I'm home on Christmas morning. He always makes this Christmas breakfast casserole thing that really isn't that good, but it makes him happy so I suck it up and eat it."

Alice laughed again. "Okay then. Well, I have some errands to run. I'll drop off the dress later today."

"Sounds good."

The two girls said their good-byes and then hung up. Bella shook her head at her best friend's enthusiasm. She was certainly one-of-a-kind.

* * *

Bella entered the party hesitantly. She was wearing a simple dress, handpicked by Alice, and she felt extremely awkward. The room was mostly filled with Carlisle's friends. Many of them greeted her; she visited the hospital enough that almost everyone who worked there recognized her.

"Bella!" Alice called from the kitchen door. Bella gratefully made her way toward her friend. Alice was busy overseeing the hors d'oeuvres for the party.

"Wow, Alice. There are a lot of people here."

"I know," Alice said excitedly. "Usually more people can't make it, but this year almost everyone we invited is here. Esme was super stressed out, but everything's been going well so far. Well, almost everything." She rolled her eyes.

"Almost everything?" Bella questioned.

"Edward has yet to make an appearance, but I think Esme has been too busy to notice yet."

"Where is he?"

"Upstairs, I think. You can never be certain with that one."

"Do you want me to go look for him?" Bella asked.

"Could you? That would be great!"

Bella laughed at Alice's enthusiasm. "Why do I feel like I just fell for a trap?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Alice said, an innocent look on her face.

Bella laughed again as she climbed the stairs.

She hesitantly knocked on his bedroom door. No answer. She frowned and knocked louder, but he still didn't respond. She knew he was inside because the light was on. She hesitantly pushed the door open, sticking her head through the crack.

He was sitting at his keyboard, headphones on. His fingers were flying over the keys, and Bella wished that she could hear what he was playing. He looked so beautiful sitting there, illuminated by his bedside lamp, his hair tousled and clothes slightly wrinkled. He had obviously dressed for the party; he had on a dark green sweater that Bella recognized as the one Alice picked out for him. But he was so consumed with his world of music, he must have lost track of time.

Bella didn't want to interrupt him, but he really did need to make an appearance downstairs.

"Edward," she said quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, causing her to jump back. He whipped his headphones off, his look murderous until he saw who had disturbed him.

_Bella_. He felt the familiar shiver down his spine as he drank in her looks. She looked as beautiful as always, although slightly uncomfortable. He assumed that was because she was in his room. Alone with him.

"Did you need something?" His question came out as a sneer, and he winced as he heard what he sounded like. Couldn't he just be nice to her for once? Why did he always make things so hard on himself?

"Alice wanted me to come get you," she said in a small voice, backing away from his angry face. "She said Esme's going to wonder where you are soon, and your mother is already stressed enough."

Edward glanced at the clock and swore under his breath. He hadn't realized it was so late. He had been working on one of his compositions and lost track of time.

"You can tell Alice that I will be down shortly," he said dismissively. He turned back to his keyboard. He just had to adjust these few chords first.

Bella knew that she should leave, but she couldn't make her feet move. Instead, she timidly asked him, "What are you working on?"

Edward turned back around, surprised that she was still here or that she would care what he was working on.

"This is just one of my compositions," he explained. "I got inspired this afternoon, and I lost track of time."

"Can… can I listen to it sometime?" she asked shyly.

"Uh, sure. It's not done yet, but I can play what I've got so far."

Bella nodded, pleased and slightly embarrassed. He motioned for her to sit on his bed and unplugged his headphones so that she would be able to hear the music.

The piece was incomplete, but the melody was sweet and the harmonies only added to its beauty. It was a simple composition, and rather different from the others Edward had done. But it also had a very different inspiration, so that was no surprise.

When he finished, Bella was speechless. A tear had leaked out of the corner of her eye, and she quickly wiped it before he turned back around. The melody was so beautiful not for any technical, musical reason, but because she heard a story behind the notes. To her, it was a story of unrequited love; that was what had caused the tear.

"Oh, Edward," she whispered in awe. "It's so pretty."

Simple words, but they meant so much to Edward. He hadn't realized before how much her opinion meant to him, especially concerning this composition. To have her approval meant the world to him.

"Um, thank you," he said, rather embarrassed by her reaction. He hadn't even played most of his original pieces for his family, and he wasn't used to the praise. "The chords aren't exactly right, but it shouldn't take that long to fix. And I'm thinking of changing the last six measures. They don't really give the song the closure that I want." He abruptly stopped. He was rambling, and Bella could probably care less about all the musical jargon.

"I can't imagine it becoming any more beautiful," Bella replied, "but I can't wait to hear the finished version." She smiled at him, and Edward's heart skipped a beat.

_Her smile is so beautiful_, he thought. _What I wouldn't give to make her smile for the rest of forever_.

"Oh!" A thought suddenly occurred to Bella. "I have your Christmas gift now, if you want it."

"You got me present?" Edward didn't know why he was surprised. She got him a present every year, despite his protests. Eventually he had stopped fighting the inevitable and simply got her a present in return so he didn't feel so awkward and weird. It had become a sort of tradition for them to exchange gifts on the night of the party while everyone else was distracted. Alice didn't even know that they gave each other presents.

"Yeah, it's downstairs. I'll just run and go get it."

With that Bella rushed out of the room. Edward chuckled before retrieving her present from the closet. It was a simple gift , but he really wanted her to like it. He really wanted her to like _him_, but baby steps. _One thing at a time, Edward_, he reminded himself.

Bella appeared in his doorway a minute later, breathing heavily with flushed cheeks. He chuckled again. Apparently she really did run.

"Here," she said, thrusting out a slightly-crumpled package. He took it gracefully, and replaced it with his present to her.

"Edward," she said disapprovingly. "You didn't have to get me anything." She took the small package in her hands, weighing it carefully. "You know I don't like it when people spend extra money on me."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Bella, you can't honestly expect me to just accept presents from you year after year without offering some type of reciprocation."

She sighed. "Fine. But it better not be expensive!"

Edward just laughed. He knew that all he had to say was that it was nonrefundable and she would accept the gift without a complaint. She wouldn't want to waste his money.

"Go ahead," he urged. "Open it."

Bella reluctantly tore through the wrapping paper to reveal a nondescript box. She opened the box carefully. Inside were two pieces of paper.

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed. She looked up at him, and then back at her present, and then back at him. "Edward, I can not believe that you got me tickets to a Keith Madden concert!"

He laughed at her expression. Keith Madden was one of very few musical talents that they both enjoyed, and Edward was pleased that she was so enthusiastic about her gift.

Bella looked back at the tickets, and then blushed. "Are you coming with me?" she asked timidly. There were two tickets, but she was pretty sure that he didn't have a date in mind.

"If you want," he said mildly. "But I got you two because no one wants to go to a concert alone."

"Of course." She ducked her head, embarrassed. Of course he didn't want to go on a date with her. She took a deep breath before plastering on a fake smile. "Okay, now open your present."

Edward did so, slowly. He was always very precise when unwrapping presents. It drove Alice wild; she loved to just rip the paper off as quickly as possible.

When he finally removed the wrapping paper, his jaw dropped.

"How did you find this?" he asked.

Bella laughed. "My mom found it, actually. I asked her to be on the look out for it, and she sent it to me a few days ago."

Edward had been searching for this book for weeks; living in a small town like Forks had its disadvantages, and the small book selection was definitely one of them.

"Bella, thank you so much," he said sincerely. He held the book as though it were a precious stone. "This is the best present ever." He was so intense that Bella just laughed again.

"You're very welcome, Edward. And thank _you _for the awesome concert tickets. I've never been to a concert before."

"I know," Edward said smugly. Bella slapped his shoulder lightly, caught up in the light conversation and for the moment forgetting her embarrassment and shyness.

"Bella! Edward! Are you guys up there?" They could hear Alice's voice from downstairs.

"We'll be right down, Alice!" Edward shouted back.

Bella's eyes were huge. "Edward! What are we going to tell her? She sent me up here a long time ago!"

Edward chuckled at Bella's panic. "Just tell her you went to the bathroom. Or that you got distracted. It doesn't really matter. It's not like you were missing long enough for her to… draw the wrong conclusions. And besides, we didn't do anything wrong."

Bella's face was scarlet in an instant. The very thought made it hard to breathe, and for a moment, Edward was worried that she would faint. But she shook herself out of it after a while.

"Why don't I meet you downstairs?" Edward suggested. "I still need to clean up a bit before making an appearance."

Bella nodded, the comfortable atmosphere from before gone. She left without another word, and Edward just sighed. They only really talked once a year, on Christmas Eve at his family's annual party. The rest of the time, their conversations were just awkward and strained. And they just reached their quota for the year.

* * *

Alice eyed Bella as she descended the stairs.

"What?" Bella asked her friend.

"What took you so long?" Alice asked, suspicious.

"Oh, umm…" Bella groped for an excuse. Finding none, she answered, "We got distracted. He was working on a composition, and I asked him to play for me." Only half the truth, but hopefully it was enough to placate Alice.

"He played for you?" Alice was shocked. Edward never played for anyone, at least, he never played his original compositions for anyone. And he hardly ever talked to her best friend. Why would he let her in when he shut the rest of his family out so completely? The jealousy that welled up inside Alice made her pause for a second. Why was she jealous of Bella? At least Edward was opening up to _someone_.

Bella nodded. She wasn't sure if she should've just lied about the whole thing. She didn't want Alice to bug Edward about playing for her. "Please, Alice, don't make a big deal out of it."

"I won't. I'm just… surprised, that's all. Now come on. Jasper's here, and I want you to meet him."

Jasper was Alice's new boyfriend. Apparently he's Rosalie's neighbor. Rose had introduced him to Alice, and the rest is history.

Alice led Bella over to a handsome young man with blond hair.

"Jasper, honey, I want you to meet Bella, my best friend. Bella, this is Jasper."

"Nice to finally meet you, Bella." Jasper extended his hand out. "I've heard so much about you."

Bella took his hand. "I've heard a lot about you, too. In fact, Alice never shuts up about you anymore."

"Bella, that's not true," Alice said, indignant. Bella laughed at her friend's expense, and the others joined her. They all knew that Alice was more than capable of talking up a storm.

"It's not my fault," Alice argued through her laughter. "Jasper's the one with so many… virtues that I can't help but try to name them all."

"Nice try Alice," Bella relied. "We all know that you just like to talk."

"Well, as long as she's only saying good things about me," Jasper put in, "then I'm okay with it." He smiled at his girlfriend.

"That's just because you don't have to listen to it," Bella said under her breath. The three laughed again before moving on to another topic.

They were deep in conversation when Bella glanced toward the stairs. Edward was just coming down them, and she gasped at the sight. He was beautiful. There was no other way to describe him. She had seen him almost everyday for years; heck, she had already seen him not half an hour before, and yet the sight of him was still a shock.

She watched him move toward his mother, greeting her with a peck on the cheek. Tonight he was playing his role of "perfect son," although he was fashionably late. Bella smiled to herself; she could see through his façade. She turned back to her conversation with Alice and Jasper before they noticed who she was staring at.

Edward didn't have a chance to talk to Bella again that night, and although he was disappointed, he knew it was for the best. It was better for them not to spend a lot of time together; it would only hurt worse when she found someone else and left him behind. He sighed at the thought. Maybe next semester he could convince Mr. Banner to make him and Bella lab partners. At least then he would have an excuse to talk to her. Edward sighed again. He was pathetic.


	5. Ch 4: Truth or Dare

"Bella," Alice said in a whiny voice. "I thought we were best friends."

Bella smiled as she looked up from her book. She was sitting cross-legged on Alice's bed, and the little pixie had just burst through the door.

"Of course we're best friends, Alice. What made you think otherwise?"

"Best friends are supposed to tell each other _everything_." Alice joined Bella on the bed. "And you've been keeping secrets." She pointed a finger at Bella.

"Secrets?" Bella was honestly confused. She had no idea what Alice was talking about.

"Yes, secrets. I've heard you talking in your sleep. Just when were you going to tell me you're in love with my brother?"

Bella's playful smile died instantly, and she hung her head, red-faced and ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Alice," she whispered. "I didn't mean to fall in love with him."

Alice looked at her funny. "It's okay, Bella. I'm not mad at you. In fact, I couldn't be happier."

Bella's head snapped up. "What?"

"You heard me. I think you two would be great together. I mean, I know he's a little rough around the edges, but he's always nicer around you. And since you already like him, this will be easy."

Bella could already see the wheels turning inside the spiky-haired girl's head.

"Alice, no," Bella protested. "I don't want you to come up with some elaborate scheme to seduce your brother. He doesn't like me that way, and I don't want to run around making a fool out of myself to try to change that. I never had any plans to tell anyone anyway, so can we just pretend this never happened? Please?"

"But Bella," Alice pouted, "I just want you to be happy. And besides, what makes you think that he doesn't like you that way?"

"Alice, can we at least _try _to be reasonable here? Why in the world would someone like Edward like someone like me?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Alice honestly seemed confused.

Bella sighed. "I'm nothing like the other girls he's been with."

"Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe once he's been with you he'll realize that he's been missing out all along."

"Alice, please, let's just drop this, okay? I love you and all, but I would really appreciate an immediate end to this conversation."

Alice sighed. "Fine, but you should at least think about it. I won't make you 'act like a fool,' but consider what I said. You don't want to be one of those crazy old cat ladies regretting that you wouldn't let me help you woo my brother."

Bella rolled her eyes. "It's nice to know that you think I have no chance with anyone but your brother."

Alice threw a pillow at her. "You know that's not what I meant."

The girls laughed and a pillow fight commenced. For the moment, their conversation was forgotten.

* * *

It was yet another Cullen sleepover, only this time Emmett and Rose were there, too. In fact, it was Emmett who suggested the game. The others turned him down at first. After all, everyone stops playing Truth or Dare in middle school, right? But Emmett was persistent, and the rest finally agreed just to shut him up. There's no harm in a quick game…

"Okay," Alice said, taking command. "Emmett. Truth or dare?"

"Pshh! Is that even a question?" Emmett put on his 'tough act.' "Dare, of course."

"Excellent." Alice rubbed her hands together. "I dare you to eat Bella's attempt to make cookies this afternoon."

"Alice!" Bella protested. "That's mean. They weren't _that _bad."

"Did you try them?" Edward asked.

"Umm." Bella blushed. "No. They… well, they were kind of an odd color. It's not my fault you guys ran out of vanilla extract and I had to use orange and mint!"

Everyone burst out laughing at the expression on Emmett's face when he heard that.

"Umm, can I switch to Truth?"

"Don't be a pansy, Emmett," Rosalie commanded.

"Yes, ma'am."

"But Alice," Bella protested, "I thought you threw them out."

"They're on top," Alice answered.

"Alice!" Emmett yelled. "I am not eating cookies that have been in the trash!"

"They won't be _that _dirty. I wrapped them in aluminum before throwing them out."

"That's just… gross," Jasper said, glad that he wasn't in Emmett's shoes.

"Umm, just so you know," Rose said, looking at Emmett, "you have to brush your teeth at least three times before I'm kissing you again."

Emmett groaned before glaring at Alice, who was smiling wickedly. "I hate you, Alice."

She just laughed before dancing to the kitchen to retrieve the cookies.

"Bella, what did you do to these?" Emmett looked at the mess that Alice had placed in his lap, and then back at the girl who had created it.

"Umm, I'm not entirely sure," Bella confessed. "I just kind of… improvised a little when the recipe wasn't clear."

Emmett groaned again before slowly lifting one of the 'cookies' to his mouth. He took a small bite and swallowed without chewing. Everyone laughed at his antics, but then his face lit up.

"Hey, these aren't half bad!"

Alice could barely breathe, she was laughing so hard. She had tasted the cookies, and she was pretty sure that Emmett had been born without taste buds if he thought that the cookies were good. Bella was so embarrassed; her face was buried in her hands. The others were laughing hysterically. Emmett gobbled up the rest of the cookies.

"Hey Bella, do you think you could make me more?"

"Ew, Emmett," Alice choked out between laughs. "That's so disgusting. No offense, Bella."

Bella just shrugged before turning to Emmett. "I have no idea what I did to make those, so unfortunately - or maybe fortunately - I can't make any more. And I'm pretty sure I've been officially banned from the oven at your home."

Emmett laughed again before downing the last cookie with some milk. He wiped his mouth before stating, "Alright, my turn." He looked around the circle before fixing his eye on Edward. "Edward, truth or dare?"

Edward snorted. Emmett always tried to get the better of him, but it never worked. "Dare."

"Hmm," Emmett pretended to think. "What to do, what to do? Oh! I know. I dare you to… kiss Bella."

Bella's head snapped up. She sent Emmett a panicked look, but he was smiling smugly at Edward. She looked at Alice, but the little pixie just shrugged her shoulders. Alice hadn't told Emmett to make that dare, but she thought that it was perfect. Maybe now Edward would open his eyes and see how amazing Bella is.

Bella, still panicking, turned to Edward and sent him a pleading glance. This would be her first kiss, and as much as she had fantasized about Edward kissing her, she did not want it to be because of a dare.

Edward was furious that his brother was playing matchmaker, but he couldn't back out of the dare now. At least, that's what he thought before he saw the look on Bella's face. Her expression sent jolt of pain through his chest. He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that it was all okay. He wouldn't kiss her if she didn't want it. It was probably her first kiss. But another part of him was hurt that she didn't want to kiss him. Maybe it wasn't personal on her part, but it sure felt like it.

Edward leaned toward Bella; his nearness caused her to forget the others in the room, even Emmett, who was egging them on. Her heart was beating out of control, and her breathing became very labored; he was still a foot away. But the distance was closing fast and she had no idea how to get out of this kiss. In fact, she forgot why she wanted to get out of it. After all, here was the guy of her dreams, offering her a kiss. It was her dream come true, right?

Edward continued to lean closer…

And closer…

And closer…

And closer…

Until…

At the last second, he changed directions and kissed her cheek, very softly, before whispering in her ear, "I will never do something if you don't want me to."

Bella almost fainted right there. Somewhere in the background she heard Emmett voicing his disappointment, but nothing registered. All she could think was, _He kissed me. _He _kissed me. He kissed _me. She was shocked.

Edward chuckled quietly before pulling back.

"Come on, man," Emmett complained. "That so doesn't count."

"You didn't specify," Edward reminded him smugly. "And I thought that Bella's wishes should be taken into account, considering it wasn't her dare."

"You are such a wuss, man," Emmett insisted.

"Shut up, Emmett," Rosalie said before hitting him in the back of the head. Rosalie had seen the helpless looks Bella had been giving everyone, and she knew that Edward had kissed Bella's cheek out of respect for her. Rose smiled. _He so loves her_.


	6. Ch 5: Valentine's Day

Bella walked through the parking lot toward the Cullen's Volvo with a bag in her hand. It was filled to the brim with Valentine's Day gifts. Every year she went all out on this special day. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that the real reason was because she always wanted to give Edward something nice, but it would look suspicious if she only gave him a good gift, so she got all of her friends nice things.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bella!" Alice greeted her as she approached their car.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Alice," Bella replied. She heaved the bag onto the hood of their car, ignoring Edward's grimace. He was very protective of his precious Volvo. She started searching through the contents of her gift bag.

"Here, Alice," Bella said, thrusting a slightly-lopsided teddy bear with a red scarf at her.

"Oh my gosh!" Alice squealed. "Did you make this yourself?"

Bella blushed. "Yeah, actually. It was the first time I knit a stuffed animal. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"I love it!" Alice hugged the bear to her chest. Jasper eyed the bear enviously. Bella couldn't decided if he was jealous of the bear for being that close to Alice, or jealous of Alice for having a teddy bear.

Bella handed Jasper a CD that Alice said he had been thinking of buying.

"Wow, thanks Bella," he said, examining his present. "This is great."

"You're welcome, Jasper." Bella reached back into her bag to pull out the last gift. She always saved Edward for last.

"Here, Edward," Bella said, holding out his present. "I thought you might like a gift from a friend, instead of just another girl trying to get you in her pants."

He hesitated before reaching for it. He wasn't sure what to make of her comment, so he chose to ignore it. His fingers brushed hers, sending a shiver down her spine. Or maybe she was just colder than she realized. _Don't lie to yourself, Bella_…

"Bella."

Bella looked up at him, losing herself in his eyes.

"How did you know I wanted this?" he asked, motioning toward the present in his hands.

"I didn't," Bella shrugged, trying to ask nonchalant. "I just guessed."

"Well, you are a very good guesser," he said, turning the present over in his hands as though he were afraid it would break.

"Thanks," Bella replied. "I'm glad you like it."

"When have I ever _not _liked one of your gifts?" Edward asked.

"I don't know," Bella said, embarrassed by his question. "You could always just be pretending to like it."

Edward raised an eyebrow at her. "Do I seem like the kind of guy to pretend about liking something in order to spare someone's feelings?"

"I guess not," Bella replied, looking at her feet.

"Then why would you think that I would pretend to like your gifts?"

"Well -"

"Bella! Edward! Stop flirting! You're gonna be late to class!" Alice's voice could be heard across the parking lot. Bella's head snapped up and she realized that everyone else had left for class already.

"Sorry, Edward," she said hurriedly, gathering her stuff. "I have to get to class. I can't be late again."

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you later, I guess."

"Bye!"

Edward watched her walk away, then looked down at the gift in his hands. He sighed. If he didn't start walking, he was going to be late.

* * *

Edward was sitting in class debating about whether or not he should actually ask Emmett for advice. He was shocked that he was even considering it, but Emmett did have a steady girlfriend, and he also knew Bella well. Although reluctant, Edward knew he had no choice.

Emmett was daydreaming about Rosalie when his phone vibrated. He quickly opened the text, and was surprised to see it was from Edward. They hardly ever talked.

_Emmett, did you get Bella anything for Valentine's Day?_

Emmett quickly typed his response before sending it to his brother.

_No, Edward, I got __Rosalie__ something for Valentine's day. Duh!  
_

_But Bella got you something. Doesn't that make you feel bad? Like you should get her something?_

_Dude, getting friends V-day gifts is a girl thing. Just chill._

_Fine, whatever. Just because you have no manners…_

_That is, of course, unless you actually like Bella. Then you should've gotten her something._

Edward scowled as he read the text.

_I don't like Bella._

_Right…. And Rose and I are virgins._

_Emmett! That's gross. I did not need that mental picture right now!_

_I can't help what you think. And it's not like you didn't already know. You walked in on us that one time, remember?_

_I've been trying to forget that incident. I think I'm scarred for life._

_You're one to talk. You've had more girls spend the night than either of us can remember, and half the time I have to wake you up the next morning. Trust me when I tell you it is __not__ a pretty sight._

_Whatever. You don't __have_ _to wake me up._

_And I don't __have__ to cover your ass so Mom and Dad don't realize that they've raised an alcoholic womanizer, but I do anyway. So shut it and just admit that you like Bella. (You can't distract me that easily)._

_First off, you are the one who started the topic of sex. Second, I do not like Bella like that. She's Alice's best friend._

_So?_

_So, she's off-limits. Not that I want her._

_Edward, it's obvious you do. You don't have to keep pretending. I'm not __that__ stupid. Even Rose thinks that you like Bella._

_How would Rose know?_

_She said something about the truth or dare game. Which, btw, you still owe me for. That kiss __so__ did not count!_

_Grow up, Emmett. She didn't want me to kiss her. Did you see her face? She looked like she was gonna puke._

_The fact that you didn't kiss her just proves that you like her. You wouldn't have cared otherwise._

_Oh really?_

_Yeah. At least, that's what Rose said._

Edward rolled his eyes. His brother was an idiot. A very, very whipped idiot. _But then again_, he thought, _so am I._

_So what do you think I should do about it?_

_Did you get Bella something for Valentine's?_

_No. But I didn't know that she was getting me something._

_She always does, Edward. You should've known._

_Well, I forgot. So what do I do now?_

_On the way home from school go buy her some candy or a nice card or something. And then just give it to her when she comes over tonight. Be like, Sorry, I forgot this at home._

_Do you know how crowded all the candy stores will be?_

_It was just a suggestion. You don't __have__ to do anything. I don't think she's expecting anything in return._

_Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't give her something._

_Well, you have to decide whether or not it's worth standing in line. I would do it for Rose. In fact, I did do it for Rose (and with her)._

_First, that's gross. Second, you guys are dating. Whereas I'm going on a date tonight with someone who's not Bella._

_Well, you don't have to do anything, Eddie. It's just a matter of what you're willing to do._

Just then the bell rang. Edward looked up from his phone. He hadn't realized that so much time had passed. His phone vibrated again.

_I know that you're worried about Bella being Alice's friend, but I don't think Alice will mind. If you like Bella, then go get her something small. It won't be perfect, but it's a start. If you really want a relationship with her, then get her some chocolate or something.  
_

Edward couldn't believe it, but Emmett was right. Bella deserved better than what he could do, but that didn't mean that he should just do nothing. What he needed was a grand gesture. He started planning in his head.

* * *

Bella walked into the Cullen's house using the key that Alice had given her years ago. She wasn't quite sure why her best friend had insisted that she come over to help in the primping process before Alice's date with Jasper, but arguing with her was futile.

Bella walked into the living room and gasped. She knew it was pathetic, to still have that reaction after all these years, but she couldn't help it. It was just so… beautiful.

Edward was sitting on the couch, playing a video game of some sort. Bella had no idea what it was, but she didn't really care. His back was to her, and he was so absorbed in the game that she was given the chance to really look at the boy she loved without worrying about getting caught.

He was, for lack of a better word, perfect. Even with his back facing her. Even with his hair sticking out in all directions. Even in sweats and a t-shirt. _Wait a second…._

"Hey Edward, don't you have a date tonight?" Bella asked.

Edward jumped at the sound of her voice. He dropped the controller and his car on the TV screen crashed into a wall.

"Oh, sorry!" Bella said quickly, blushing. "I didn't mean to distract you."

"It's okay," Edward said, pausing the game and placing the controller on the table before turning to her. "What did you say?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just wondering if you had a date tonight. I didn't mean to mess you up. I'm so sorry-"

"Bella," he cut her off. "It's just a video game. It doesn't matter, so stop apologizing. And as for the other, yes, I do have a date tonight."

Bella glanced at her watch. "But it's already after 7:00. Shouldn't you be getting ready or something?"

Edward raised an eyebrow. "I don't know. Should I?"

She blushed at his teasing. "Well, I just meant that it's getting late and you don't look like you're about to go on a date. Not that you _couldn't _go in sweats, but it's Valentine's Day, and most people dress up and go somewhere fancy. Not that you have to be like other people. I mean, uh, never mind."

Edward smiled at her stammering. She was so cute when she was embarrassed.

"I'm going to pick Lauren up at 8:00," he answered her unasked question.

"Lauren? As in Lauren Mallory?"

Edward nodded.

"Oh." Bella thought about that. She was surprised. She had never seen Lauren and Edward together before, but that didn't mean anything. And she knew that Lauren had recently broken up with her boyfriend. It had, apparently, been a pretty messy break-up, and there had been plenty of rumors flying around the school.

Bella wasn't sure how she felt about Lauren and Edward dating. Not that she was entitled to an opinion. She knew she was jealous, but that was true of all of his dates. And Lauren seemed nice enough, not that Bella actually knew her. They had never spoken before, and Bella didn't think that would change. Which might actually be a good thing.

"Is there a problem with that?" Edward asked, pulling Bella from her reverie.

"What? Oh, no, of course not," she answered. "I was just trying to a put a face to the name. I've never actually met Lauren." It wasn't a complete lie. But Bella could hardly tell Edward what she was really thinking.

"Well, I better go see if Alice is okay," Bella said, backing toward the door.

Edward nodded and picked up the controller again.

"Sorry about your game," she said.

"It's okay. It's not a big deal."

"Alright then. I'm, uh, gonna go now." With that, Bella turned and practically ran from the room.

Edward almost laughed out loud. She really was just so adorable when she was embarrassed.

* * *

Bella was breathless by the time she entered Alice's room, and her burning cheeks were not just from running up the stairs.

Alice glanced up as Bella walked in.

"How's my brother?" Alice asked with a smirk. Bella glared at her before grabbing one of Alice's many magazines and plopping down onto the bed.

"It's not funny," Bella huffed, sticking her nose between the pages of the magazine, as if to ward off any more of Alice's teasing. Alice just smiled at her before turning back to the mirror. Jasper was going to be there in less than thirty minutes and she wanted to look perfect for him. She could plan how to get her best friend and brother together while finishing her hair. She was, after all, a great multi-tasker.

* * *

"You're late," Lauren told Edward as he picked her up.

"Only five minutes," he replied, not at all bothered by her attitude.

"Edward! You know that Mike and Jessica are going to be at the movies in ten minutes. The whole point was to make him jealous, remember? That won't work if he doesn't see us."

"Lauren, I'm doing _you _a favor. So just chill, alright? I had a few errands to do real quick, and it took a little longer than I thought. It's not a big deal. We'll be there in plenty of time."

"Fine. Whatever."

Edward rolled his eyes. He was starting to think that this date was a huge mistake. He owed Lauren a favor, but he'd never thought that _this _was how she wanted to be repaid. _Whatever_, he thought. _In a couple hours this will all be over_.

* * *

Bella was exhausted when she got home. Who knew that helping Alice get ready for a date could take so much energy? She was more than ready for sleep as she trudged up the stairs.

Bella walked into her bedroom and gasped. Her entire room was covered in pink and red rose petals. On top of her dresser was a vase filled with a beautiful bouquet of blood-red roses and hundreds of Hershey kisses covered her bed. There was a note on her pillow.

Bella started to cry. She walked into her room, slightly in awe. She carefully touched the flowers, stunned that anyone would give something so beautiful to her. She moved aside the chocolate and sat on her bed. She grabbed the note.

_Dearest Bella,_

_Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you like your presents. They do not even begin to compare to you. You are so beautiful, my Bella. Never forget it. I'm sorry that I could not spend the evening with you, but know this: I will be thinking of you all night._

_Forever Yours,_

_Your Secret Admirer_

Bella sobbed. She didn't know who sent her the gifts, but it didn't matter. She'd thought that she would be alone on Valentine's Day. She was still alone, but she was no longer lonely. She now knew that someone somewhere cared.

She sniffed and reached for her phone. Alice was going to want details.


	7. Ch 6: The Kiss

"Bella! Wait for me!"

Bella turned to see her best friend running toward her, waving her arms wildly. She smiled at Alice's antics.

"Yes, Alice?"

"Hey, my parents are out of town again and we're staying with Rose. She told me to invite you over tonight."

"Are they visiting your grandparents again?" Bella asked.

"Yeah." Alice looked sad for a moment before smiling again and saying, "So what about it? Can you spend the night?"

"I don't know," Bella hesitated. "I haven't been feeling super-well lately. I think I'm starting to catch a cold." As if on cue, she began coughing. Alice looked at her suspiciously, but let it go.

"Okay, fine, but we are gonna hang out tomorrow if you're feeling better."

"Why does that sound like a threat?"

"Very funny, Bella," Alice said before sticking her tongue out.

Bella laughed. "Very mature, Alice," she said, mimicking her friend's tone.

"Well, I gotta go," Alice said, giving Bella a quick hug. "Jasper's waiting for me."

The girls said their goodbyes. Bella jumped in her car and headed home. She was in the mood for some chicken noodle soup and reading. Maybe some Advil if her headache didn't go away soon. She just wanted a nice, relaxing evening.

* * *

Bella was ninety-nine percent sure she was dreaming. After all, she was alone with Edward. In a meadow. With a picnic spread out before them. And romantic music playing in the background. And candles. She was on a date with the man of her dreams, meaning that it was just that: a dream. But she didn't care, because at that moment he was saying something. Or at least, his mouth was moving.

"What, Edward?" she asked.

He spoke again, but she still couldn't hear him. She moved closer, repeating her question. But before he could respond, he was interrupted. The background music was suddenly blaring, and Bella covered her ears, ducking away from Edward. This music definitely didn't fit the mood.

_Be my bad boy, be my man_

_Be my week-end lover_

_But don't be my friend_

_You can be my bad boy_

_But understand_

_That I don't need you in my life again_

Bella rolled over, reaching for her phone. Her dream date was interrupted, but she recognized Edward's ring tone. She glanced at the clock before picking up. 2:17 AM. She groaned.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, it's Tyler."

"Oh, hey Tyler." Bella got up, anticipating why he had called on Edward's cell.

"Can you come pick up Edward? He's in no condition to drive home."

"Sure thing. Is he at your house?" She shrugged on a sweatshirt.

"Yeah."

"Be there in ten minutes."

Bella hung up and grabbed her car keys. Charlie had the late shift tonight, like usual, so she didn't have to worry about sneaking out. She jumped in her truck and sped off into the night.

* * *

Tyler opened the door almost immediately after her knock.

"Thank goodness you're here," he said, looking more than a little relieved. He led the way into his living room, where Edward was sprawled out on the couch, eyes closed.

"Can you help me get him to the truck?" Bella asked. Tyler nodded, and they approached the drunk boy cautiously.

As soon as they touched him, he flinched and opened his eyes.

"What's going on?" he asked angrily.

Bella placed a soothing hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Edward," she said, trying to calm him. "I'm here to take you home."

"No!" he shouted, but he made no move to resist them as they helped him to his feet. "I don't want to go home!"

"Of course not," Bella said, trying to appease him. He seemed to accept her answer. They were able to get him to Bella's truck without a problem, and Tyler said good-bye with the promise of returning Edward's car the next day. Bella said thanks before buckling Edward in and going to the driver's side.

Edward appeared to be asleep, and Bella didn't say anything during the drive to his house. She knew that there would be a big enough fight once he realized that he was home.

* * *

"Come on, Edward," Bella said. "I need a little help here. I can't drag you up the stairs all by myself." He was still in a half-conscious state, and Bella was struggling to move him. "Just a few more steps," she said, more to encourage herself than him.

She had finally guided him into his room when he seemed to wake up.

"Where am I?" he asked, looking down at her. "What are _you _doing here?" She flinched at his tone.

He was upset that she was there, but not because he didn't like her. He had gone to Tyler's party to get drunk and forget about a certain brown-eyed best friend of his little sister. Obviously, his plan had backfired, but he couldn't remember how exactly that happened. He looked around him. The room seemed familiar, but he couldn't think straight. Damn. He had stopped drinking too soon. He was still too far from complete oblivion but his brain function was definitely impaired.

"You are home," Bella answered him. "Specifically, your bedroom. Tyler called me saying that you were completely wasted and needed help."

He grunted. She sighed.

He heard her sigh, and something inside of him snapped.

"I didn't ask you to help me," he said angrily. She took a step back; the rage in his eyes surprised her. "You didn't have to drive me home. I don't even want to be here!"

"Someone has to take care of you," she said quietly. He almost didn't hear her. Almost.

"Take care of me? Since when is that _your _job? We aren't even friends."

Bella felt like she had just been slapped, but her own anger quickly overcame the pain in her heart. "I've been taking care of you since eighth grade. That was the first time you stumbled home reeking of alcohol, and Alice and I spent the whole night helping you and covering for you so your parents didn't know. And you promised us that would be the last time. But obviously it wasn't. And then sophomore year. That was the first time I received one of your late-night drunken phone calls. And I've been helping you avoid your parents _and _your siblings ever since. You owe me, Edward. Big time. Even if you don't think we're friends, we have a stronger bond than complete strangers, or even acquaintances. And now you're complaining? I can't believe that you would-"

She cut off when she glanced at his face. She had been pacing, but she stopped suddenly when she saw the look on his face. His eyes, his piercing green, bloodshot eyes, were so dark and intense. He moved toward her, backing her up until she felt the door behind her. He placed his hands against the door above her head, effectively trapping her beneath his body.

Her breathing became labored. He had never been this close before. He was still staring at her intensely.

"Be quiet," he whispered, almost seductively.

Bella had no choice but to obey. Every word she was going to say had flown out of her head the instant she got lost in his eyes. Even drunk, he was still so sexy.

He leaned closer, and she could smell the alcohol in his breath. She stiffened, remembering why she was here.

"Really, Edward," she started to say, pushing against his chest to gain freedom, "stop messing around-"

With a thud, she was pushed back against the door. His hands had moved from above her to her hips, his touch cutting off the flow of words from her brain to her mouth.

"I said be quiet," he repeated softly, gazing at her face. His eyes were dark with lust, and she blushed. His nearness was getting to her.

"You are so beautiful," he said softly, almost reverently. He carefully slid his fingers down her cheek, almost as if he were afraid she might break. "So beautiful."

She blushed, and then tried to push free again.

"Seriously Edward," she protested. "Stop. I'm not in the mood for your games. You need to get ready for bed so I can go home."

She was unable to escape, and when she looked up into his face again, she stopped trying. His expression was pure murder. She had never seem him so mad.

"Games?" he hissed.

She nodded tentatively.

"You think I'm playing games with you?" His voice was dangerously low.

She shrugged. What else was she to think? He went from hot to cold in a matter of seconds. One day they would be discussing the literary works of Jane Austen, and then he would ignore her for weeks. And just now he told her she was beautiful, only to be furious the next second. His mood swings were giving her whiplash.

"I'm not fucking playing games with you." He pressed her closer to the door. "You're the one who's always here, always teasing me before saying no. You're the one who comes to 'help' me dressed in next to nothing." Bella glanced down. She had come in her pajamas, but they could hardly be called nothing. She was even wearing a sweatshirt. She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. "No, Bella, _you're _the one playing games. But I won't fall for it. I'm not like fucking Newton who worships the ground you walk on." He sighed. "I wish you and Alice had never become friends." _Then I wouldn't always be tempted to kiss you_.

Bella could feel the tears starting to form. She knew that there was no chance for her and Edward to be together, but to hear him saying those things was too much. It all just hurt too much.

She turned away from him, once again trying to escape, but his arms tightened around her.

"Edward, please, just let me go. If you hate me so much, then just let me go."

He cursed. Now she was crying. He had a massive headache, and he just didn't know what to say. He knew he was going too far, but he figured that if Bella thought he didn't like her, it would make it easier to avoid her. But somehow he couldn't do it. He couldn't stand the thought of her thinking that he hated her, and he didn't stop to think about what that could mean.

"I don't hate you," he said softly, so softly she almost missed it. "How can I hate you after everything you've done for us?" He saw her look of confusion; after all, he had basically just contradicted himself. "I may not want you to do the things you do, but I don't hate you for it. You're just so kind and thoughtful and nice and…" He trailed off. He leaned in and breathed deeply. She always smelled so good, like flowers. He could easily get lost in her scent. What was this girl doing to him?

"Edward?" she asked hesitantly when he didn't say anything else. _Did he fall asleep?_

"Mmhmm," he responded. He was unable to make a more intelligent answer. She smelled so good, and she was so soft…

"Edward," she said gently, pushing lightly on his chest. He was leaning heavily on her, and she was squished between him and the door. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable; she enjoyed the feel of his weight on her. But it was slightly embarrassing. "You can let go now."

The words sliced through Edward's heart. Of course. He had no right to hold her. Never had. Never will. For some reason, the thought made his chest ache. She wasn't his. He must remember that. But it was so hard when she was in his arms. And his head was feeling kind of fuzzy anyway. He was intoxicated. _Intoxicated by her very presence…_

Bella pushed against him again, still very gently. He lifted his head and looked at her, but she didn't meet his gaze.

"Why do you do that?" he asked suddenly.

"Do what?"

"Avoid me." He couldn't come up with a better description, but it just hurt that she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Avoid you?"

"You won't look at me," he explained, grasping her chin and forcing her gaze up.

Bella blushed, keeping her eyes locked on his chin.

Edward sighed, dropping his hand. "Like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bella insisted.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Afraid I'm gonna kiss you?"

Bella gasped and her eyes met his even as her face burned scarlet. Did he realize how close he was to the truth?

"Did I shock you?" Edward asked mockingly. He was getting angry again; his pride hurt. What was it about this girl that always made his heart act funny? Why was she so different?

Bella shook her head adamantly, but Edward wasn't convinced. "I don't believe you," he stated. "That's it, isn't it? You're afraid of me. You're afraid that I'm gonna kiss you. That I'm gonna make you another one of my conquests. Maybe I should. To punish you for teasing me all this time. You deserve it, after all. Leading me along, only to push me away again. And I always do as you wish. Remember the sleepover? I wanted to kiss you that night. So badly. Do you remember? But I didn't, because _you _didn't want me to." There was acid in his voice, mixing with the alcohol. "I've never sacrificed my needs for another before. Why you? What makes _you _so special?"

"I don't know," Bella said in a small voice.

"I do. I love you. _I_ love you. I love _you_. And God help me, I can't seem to stop. I've tried. So many times. But every time I think I'm over you, I see you again. In my kitchen, in my bathroom, in every part of my own damn house. And it hits me again, like a ton of bricks. I'm under your spell, Bella, and I don't know how to break it. I doubt _you _even know."

"I-I don't."

"See!" he exclaimed. "Even the spell caster herself can't undo this fucking curse I'm under. And my friends are encouraging it! Don't they understand? We aren't good for each other. You are far too good for me. You're my sister's best friend! Nothing can ever happen between us. It would pull Alice in two to have to choose sides. And why would you ever see a guy like me anyway? I'm nothing, compared to you. Your gorgeous, intelligent, funny. I'm a wanna-be rebel without a cause and without a conscience. Guys like me eat girls like you for lunch. And then fuck the leftovers. And then repeat it with the next set of girls lined up. I'm dangerous, don't you get that? Why do you always hang around? I'm not a good influence. I'm not even interesting. I drown my uselessness in sex. Useless sex. It's not even fun anymore. And I'm miserable. And I'm in love with my sister's best friend. I. Am. _Pathetic_."

His confession caught her off-guard. He liked her? It wasn't possible. But before she could digest this new information, his lips covered hers.

This kiss wasn't like the ones she had imagined so many times. It wasn't sweet and gentle. It was harsh and rough. He pushed her harder against the door, his lips moving over hers.

She was shocked. His hands moved from her hips; one reached up to cup the back of her neck, pushing her head closer to his, delving into her hair. The other hand reached around her back, forcing her closer to him, brushing against the sliver of skin exposed between her sweatshirt and her pants.

For a moment, she was frozen. She didn't know what to do. But gradually, her body began to respond. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling herself closer to him, grabbing his hair roughly. Her lips moved with his, creating delicious friction.

Slowly, almost tentatively, the hand at her back began its ascent. It stroked her skin beneath her shirt, causing her to arch into him. Everywhere he touched felt like it was on fire. She squirmed, unable to get enough. His other hand left her neck and grasped her knee, settling her leg over his hip. The new position left her more exposed to him, but at the moment, she couldn't care less.

He slid his tongue against her bottom lip, demanding entrance. She was surprised. She gasped, and he took full advantage of the situation, pushing his tongue into her mouth, entangling it with hers.

The feel of his kiss was unlike anything Bella had ever experienced, but the instant he pushed inside of her mouth, she clearly tasted the alcohol on his breath. It was strong, and acted like a bucket of cold water. It cleared her head long enough for her to remember why she was here.

Edward was so wrapped up in the kiss, in the feel of her soft lips against his, their tongues entangled, that he almost missed her small whimper. Her hands had released his hair and were now pushing against his chest.

He finally broke the kiss. Edward leaned against the door, trapping her once more. He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. _Damn_. That was some kiss. It was barely even a French kiss, and yet it had him breathing hard and desperately trying to control himself. He could barely think straight; it must have been a combination of the booze and the kiss. Regardless, he didn't want to start something he couldn't finish, especially not with Bella. She was his sister's best friend. _Shit. Alice_. What was he gonna say to her? _Oh, sorry, Alice. My lips slipped. Onto your best friend's. It was nothing, really._ And Bella. What did she think about all this?

Edward opened his eyes cautiously, afraid of what her reaction might be.

Bella was still desperately trying to control her breathing. She was flushed, eyes closed, lips swollen. She was pretty sure this was a dream. After all, she had dreamed of kissing Edward more times than she could count. So then why did the forehead currently pressed against hers seem so real? And the door behind her, that seemed real, too. And since when did she dream of her first kiss being with a _drunk _Edward? No, she definitely wanted him sober. Then there would be no regrets or excuses. _Crap!_ This wasn't a dream, then. He really had just kissed her. And it was the best kiss of her entire life. Well, only kiss, but still, it had been amazing.

Bella took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She opened her eyes to see Edward staring at her. She got lost in his eyes again. She couldn't help it. They were just so beautiful…

Bella was staring at him again, but Edward was pretty sure she wasn't actually seeing him. But she didn't look too upset. And she hadn't slapped him yet. That seemed like a pretty good sign. He very carefully, very cautiously, removed his arms from around her and stepped back. Just a little.

The movement snapped Bella out of her reverie. He was moving away from her. _Of course_. He had kissed her, but she must have disappointed him. Why else would he just back away without a word? She could feel tears pricking in her eyes.

Edward saw the tears forming and groaned inwardly. He had hurt her. He had done exactly what he had sworn not to do. He had hurt his sister's best friend. He was an ass.

Edward opened his mouth to say something. Maybe apologize. Beg forgiveness. He wasn't sure; he just knew he had to make this right.

Bella put up a hand, stopping him before he even spoke. "Don't say anything," she said quietly. He tried to protest, but she shook her head. "Please," she whispered. "Just don't."

And with that, she turned, opened the door, and ran out of his room. She rushed to her truck, threw open the door, and sped off into the night. She had to get out of there before her tears fell in earnest.

Edward stood there, staring at the spot where she had just been standing. _I kissed Bella_, he thought. _And she ran away_.

He couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. He stood there for a good ten minutes before he finally reacted.

"_Damn it!_" He punched the wall, but it didn't hurt. It was nothing compared to the pain in his heart right now. He had just screwed up. Big time. And there was very little, if anything, he could do to fix it.

He groaned before turning and falling into bed. The late night and alcohol were catching up to him, and within minutes he was passed out. His last thoughts were of Bella's soft lips beneath his. _I am pathetic_…


	8. Ch 7: The Morning After

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on, Barbie, Let's go party_

Bella woke up with a groan and reached for her phone. "Yes, Alice?"

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" Alice exclaimed brightly. "Since you were a poop-face last night and wouldn't come to the sleepover, I'm picking you up in five minutes for breakfast."

"Alice," Bella complained, "I really don't feel good. I have a huge headache and I'd really just rather stay in bed this morning." Bella glanced at the clock. "Alice! It's 7:05! You couldn't let me sleep in at least a little? It's Saturday!"

"Exactly. There's no reason to waste one of our few non-school days. Now get up. We are two minutes away." Alice hung up.

Bella groaned again before flinging herself out of bed. She really didn't want to go anywhere after last night, but it was impossible to say no to Alice.

Last night. Bella wanted to cry every time she thought about it. How was she supposed to face Edward again after that? Although he WAS drunk, so perhaps he forgot everything. Either way, it was embarrassing. Her first kiss was with a drunk man who may or may not remember the event. And yet, the kiss was heaven. Just thinking about it sent shivers up and down her spine.

_He kissed me. _He _kissed me. He kissed _me. _And he was drunk. And it was my first kiss. And still better than anything I've ever imagined before. _She sighed. _I'm pathetic._

Bella tried to brush away these thoughts as she got dressed for breakfast.

* * *

"Time to get up, Eddie-poo!" Emmett shouted as he burst into Edward's room. "What, no girl this morning?"

Edward groaned, opened one eye, and tried to glare at his brother, but he had too much of a hangover to put much malice behind it.

"Go away, Emmett," Edward said, settling for chucking a pillow at his brother instead.

"No can do, bro," Emmett said cheerily. "It's my job to bring you to Rosie's for breakfast. Alice said so. And if I fail, I don't get breakfast."

Edward sighed before looking at the clock. "Emmett! It's 7:15!"

Emmett shrugged. "You know how Alice likes to start bright and early. Trust me: you aren't the only one who complained. But Alice's word is law, and if we have to suffer, you do, too. Now get up. The girls are picking up Bella and we're supposed to meet back in a half hour." Emmett left the room and so missed the expression on Edward's face.

_Bella_. Edward vaguely remembered seeing her last night, but he couldn't concentrate well enough to recall any details. She must have brought him home again. He remembered feeling angry and yelling at someone, but he wasn't sure it was Bella. He couldn't think of a time before when he was mad at Bella, but he had been wasted last night, so it was a definite possibility. And then he remembered… kissing?

_Did I kiss Bella?_ Edward thought. _Oh, SHIT! What if I did? It would ruin years of pretending I don't like her. And Alice will kill me!_ Edward groaned and put his head in his hands. _Maybe it was a dream. Yeah, that's possible. I probably passed out and she brought me home and seeing her made me dream of her. It's not like it's the first time she's been in my dreams…_

But usually his dreams weren't so realistic - or G-rated. And in his dreams, she never ran away. And he was definitely sober, so he could fully enjoy...

He sighed before starting to get dressed. _I guess I'll find out at breakfast.

* * *

_

Bella sat at the kitchen table, watching the antics of her friends; she was nervous. If she'd known that Edward would be at breakfast, too, she would've fought harder to stay home. She had no idea if he would even remember the kiss, and until she knew, she would have to tread very carefully around him. More carefully than ever before. And she already barely looked at him. She had no idea how she was going to get through this meal.

"Hey, shouldn't Em be back by now?" Alice asked as she finished scrambling some eggs.

"Edward's probably refusing to come," Rosalie replied, placing orange juice on the table.

"That's what she said!"

"Jasper," Rosalie said, "that's disgusting. And immature. I swear, Alice, I don't know what you see in him."

"You're one to talk," Alice defended her man. "You're dating Emmett."

Rosalie just smiled.

"I bet Edward's trying to extricate himself from some naked girl," Jasper added.

"That was a bit saucy, Jazz," Alice said, lifting an eyebrow. "And slightly off-topic."

"Since when are you British, Alice?" Rose asked, mirroring her friend's expression. Alice stuck her tongue out.

"No, saucy would be Mike Newton shaking his butt outside a diner window," Bella corrected.

Everyone stared at her for a moment before bursting out laughing.

Emmett and Edward chose that moment to walk in.

"Hey Bella," Emmett said, "I thought I told you not to do anything funny when I'm not here."

"Sorry, Em," Bella apologized, blushing.

Emmett whistled. "Look at that! I've never seen a face get so red before."

"Emmett, stop embarrassing her!" Rose admonished.

"Sorry, Rosie," Emmett said apologetically.

Alice put the bacon on the table and announced: "Breakfast is served! Emmett, you have to go last so that rest of us actually get some food."

"Hey! That's not fair!" Emmett protested, but he still waited to serve himself. Alice saw that and smirked.

Alice tried to plan the rest of the day over breakfast, but she was getting very little cooperation from her friends.

"Come on, Rose," Alice whined. "We haven't gone shopping together for two weeks!"

"Sorry, Alice," Rosalie replied, not at all affected by her friend's attempts to gain pity. "My Dad froze my cards while they're on vacation after what happened the last time. And you know I can't go to the mall without buying _something_. And besides, Emmett and I already have plans to go to the pool."

"Fine," Alice huffed before turning to her next victim. She eyed Jasper; he held up his hands in surrender.

"I told you days ago that Dad gave me a to-do list for this weekend, " Jasper said. "And if I'm gonna take you out tonight, I need to do the list today. And trust me, babe, you want me to take you out tonight."

"Ew, Jazz," Emmett said, "that's my sister you're talking about."

Jasper shrugged before resuming his eating.

Alice rolled her eyes at them before looking at Bella.

"Now Alice -"

"No, no, no!" Alice interrupted. "Come on, Bella! You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"I told you I don't feel well," Bella defended herself, "and I have to do all my homework today because I'm going to La Push tomorrow with my Dad. And don't pull the 'Best Friend Card' on me."

Alice sighed dramatically before turning to Edward. Edward had been so occupied with his hangover and Bella, he hadn't really been paying attention to the conversation. But when he looked up to see Alice eyeing him like a piece of meat, he spoke up.

"Nope."

"Whatever," Alice said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and then casually gave him the finger. "I don't want to hang out with you anyway. I guess I'll just watch Jasper mow the lawn with his shirt off, or something,"

Rosalie and Emmett laughed at Jasper's expression.

"Alice," he said cautiously, "mowing the lawn isn't actually on the list."

"Can you do your chores without a shirt?" Alice demanded. Jasper shrugged. "Then I'll watch," she decided.

Rose and Emmett laughed again.

Edward winced at the loud noise. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw two Advil being pushed toward him. He looked up to see Bella, who smiled shyly when he made eye contact. Edward reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Bell," he whispered so the others didn't hear, "can I talk to you? Privately?" Bella nodded, too shocked to do anything more.

Edward stood up, still holding her hand, and pulled her toward the door.

"Hey, where are you guys going?" Alice asked.

"Out," Edward called over her shoulder. Bella was still too shocked to speak.

Edward led her into the front entryway before he stopped to look at her. He was still holding her hand, but he dropped it immediately when he realized. He tried not to think about how much he liked holding her hand, and she tried not to think about how much it hurt for him to drop it.

"Bella, we need to talk."

"About what?" Bella decided to play dumb.

"Last night." Edward wasn't sure if he was making a big deal over a dream. Bella didn't _seem _very upset. "I need to know what happened. I kind of remember, but some of the details are fuzzy. You picked me up, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Tyler called me."

"Oh, good," Edward said. "At least that explains why I don't remember that… um, did I, uh, do anything I should apologize for?" He hesitated even asking the question. If the kiss as just a dream, then he was making a big deal out of nothing. But if it was real, and it certainly seemed so, then he needed to know and apologize for it. No matter how much he wanted to, he had no right to kiss her, and certainly not when he's drunk.

"Apologize?" Bella asked. "Um… no. At least, I don't need an apology."

"Oh, no. What did I do?"

"You, uh, yelled a bit."

Edward grimaced. "But that's it? Nothing else?"

Bella shook her head. She knew she was lying, but she didn't want to see the look of revulsion on his face when he found out what really happened.

Edward sighed in relief. It had just been a dream after all. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. You don't deserve it, especially after all you've done. I don't know why you help me, but I'm grateful that you do."

"We're friends, Edward. Or at least close enough. And that's what friends do."

"Well, I appreciate it." He pulled her into a hug, just a friendly hug.

Bella closed her eyes. He smelled so good and she felt so… protected when she was wrapped in his arms. Even in a brotherly embrace. She tried not to think of how it would hurt when he stepped away.

Edward closed his eyes, too. He wanted nothing more than to hold onto this girl for hours, but he had no right to, as much as he wished differently. He didn't want to, but eventually he'd have to let go and take a step back. Until then, he was content to just hold her, and try not to think about how familiar she felt in his arms. Edward shook his head. _I wish it hadn't been a dream_…


	9. Ch 8: Never Have I Ever

In the weeks that followed, Bella and Edward fell into a new sort of friendship. They actually spoke to each other, greeted each other in the halls, and occasionally hung out while Bella was waiting for Alice. Their relationship grew, but both parties were still very hesitant and uncomfortable at times. It was odd the way that their kiss, remembered or not, seemed to transform their acquaintanceship into a friendship.

* * *

Everything always seemed to happen when the gang slept over at the Cullen's house. It was Friday night and Edward was at a party, but everyone else was piled in the living room, having just finished watching _Never Been Kissed_.

"I'm bored," Emmett announced.

"Em, the movie has been over for ten seconds," Alice reminded him.

"I know. I'm still bored."

Alice rolled her eyes before putting the movie away.

"Let's play a game!" Emmett shouted.

Rose groaned. "Emmett, seriously? Can we ever get together without playing a game?"

"Nope."

Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"What are we playing?" Bella asked as the group migrated to the kitchen.

Em shrugged. "I haven't thought that far ahead yet."

Alice laughed as she joined the others in the kitchen. "What about Never Have I Ever? We haven't played that in a while. Non-alcoholic, of course," she said quickly after Bella shot her a look. "We'll use soda instead."

"Where's the fun in that?" Jasper asked.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Bella's dad is a cop, remember?"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

Bella shrugged as Alice gathered some cups and soda.

"Alright," Emmett said after everyone was situated. "I'll start." He eyed his friends. "Never have I ever… driven a sports car."

Alice and Bella drank.

"Alice, you let her drive your car?" Jasper asked incredulously.

"She wasn't exactly capable of driving herself at the time," Bella replied.

Alice shrugged and then smiled. "That was a fun party." Jasper looked really unhappy, but he didn't say anything else about it.

It was Bella's turn. "Never have I ever… made out with someone in this room."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Sorry! I couldn't think of anything better!" Bella defended herself with a blush. The others just chuckled as they drank.

Alice was next. She eyed the others. "Never have I ever gotten high off anything, except life."

"Come on, Alice," Emmett complained as he grabbed his cup. "That was once like four years ago and you just won't let it go." He drank, and the others just laughed.

Jasper thought for a bit before his turn. "Never have I ever been muzzled by my family."

Alice turned accusing eyes on him before drinking. Bella and Emmett were both laughing at the memory.

"You'll pay for that, Jasper," Alice promised darkly. Jasper looked like he was about to crap in his pants.

It was Rosalie's turn. "Never have I ever cried at the end of a chick flick." She looked pointedly at Emmett. He had just cried at the end of _Never Been Kissed_, and it wasn't even sad. The end of _A Walk to Remember_ always left him bawling his eyes out.

Emmett pouted a bit before draining his cup, along with Bella and Alice.

"Excellent," Emmett said after he finished his drink. "It's my turn again." The others all exchanged glances. They weren't sure if they should be afraid or not. "Never have I ever… made out with a Cullen."

"Isn't that kinda like stealing Bella's?" Jasper asked.

Emmett shook his head. "Nope. Mine's more specific."

Jasper shrugged before taking his drink; Rosalie drank her soda, too. Bella tried to be sneaky, but everyone stared at her as she drank from her cup.

"Oh. My. God," Alice said, eyes wide. "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU KISSED EDWARD?!?"

Bella cringed and blushed. She was suddenly very much the center of attention, and she didn't really want to explain herself.

"It was nothing," she said quietly, trying to placate her best friend.

"I said 'made out,'" Emmett said, "so clearly it must have been some kiss."

They all looked at Bella expectantly; she groped for a diversion. She suddenly blurted out, "Jasper, your hair looks like ramen!"

They all looked at her like she was crazy. But then Emmett looked back at Jasper and said, "Hey, you're right, Bella!"

Rose couldn't resist. She looked too, before agreeing. "You're totally right. I wonder why we never noticed before."

Jasper touched his hair self consciously.

Alice was still eyeing her best friend. Bella mouthed that she would tell her later, and Alice seemed satisfied with that. She turned to her boyfriend and stroked his hair.

"Bella's right, Jazzy," she said. "I think we may have to fix this tomorrow."

Jasper looked horrified at the prospect of a haircut by Alice, and then glared at Bella. She just shrugged. His hair really did look like dry ramen, and the topic of conversation was now off of her kiss with Edward.

It was perfect timing, too, because at that moment Edward stumbled through the front door. He was clearly drunk again, but it wasn't that late and he was alone.

"Edward, nice of you to join us." Emmett laughed as Edward stumbled toward the stairs. The others chuckled too as Edward completely ignored his older brother apart from flipping him the middle finger.

Bella, however, wasn't laughing. She quietly got up and put her arm around Edward, supporting some of his weight. As she led him up the stairs, the others' laughter died down.

"Man, she must have it bad for him," Jasper said. The others all nodded their agreement.

It was quiet for a moment or two before Emmett said, "Alright, where were we? Alice, I think it's your turn now." The game continued.

* * *

Bella led Edward toward his room. He was heavy, and with each step he supported less of his own weight, but she was used to helping him by now. It was routine to make him change clothes, and then tuck him in. But just before she left, he grabbed her hand. He was half asleep by that point, but he held on tightly.

"Don't go," Edward whispered.

"I have to," Bella said gently as she extricated her fingers from his. He tried to protest, but he was too exhausted to do much. He fell asleep reaching for the door.

Bella quietly slipped out of his room and made her way to Alice's. She wasn't in the mood to play more Never Have I Ever, and she was tired. She quickly slipped into her pajamas, and then into her sleeping bag.

That night they dreamed of each other.

* * *

Bella woke the next morning to find her best friend staring at her.

"Alice? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Bella, I _thought _we were best friends."

"We are."

"Then why didn't you tell me about the kiss?"

Bella could see the hurt in Alice's eyes and knew that she had messed up.

"Alice, it's complicated," Bella tried to explain. "He was really drunk, and he doesn't even remember it."

"Bella!"

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me that my brother took advantage of you?" Alice was pissed now, and she was heading for the door when Bella jumped up and stopped her.

"Please don't say anything to him, Alice," Bella begged. "He doesn't even know it happened. And I could have said no if I wanted to." Bella looked at the ground, embarrassed.

"Look, Bella, I love you and I love my brother, but I'm not sure if, well, if you two really should be together. Edward can be a real ass sometimes, and you deserve better. I know I initially encouraged you, but I never imagined that he would take advantage of you like that."

"Oh."

"Now Bella, don't take that the wrong way. If it works out between you guys, of course I'll be happy for you. But, well, I'm not sure if it _will_, you know. He's a player. And you know what they say: 'let the player play.'"

"I know, Alice. Believe me, I know."

"And I know that a lot of the rumors about him are exaggerated. I mean, it's not like he's actually slept with the whole school. And he certainly doesn't get drunk every single weekend, but that doesn't mean that you should - what?"

"Nothing."

"Why were you looking at me funny?"

"It's nothing, Alice, really."

Alice scrutinized her best friend; she could always tell when Bella was lying or withholding information.

"What do you know that I don't?" Alice demanded.

"The square root of pi is 1.77245-"

"I don't care about that," Alice interrupted. "What do you know about my brother that you aren't telling me?"

"Nothing," Bella said automatically. "I mean, it's just that, well, the rumors aren't really exaggerated."

"How would _you _know that?"

"It's nothing."

"Bella Swan, tell me what you know!"

Bella looked guiltily at Alice. She didn't want to betray Edward; he went to such great pains to prevent his family from finding out the worst of his behavior. And yet, Alice was her best friend.

"Edward gets drunk a lot more than you realize. Sometimes he calls me when he's drunk. That's it. It's not that interesting."

"He calls you? Why?"

"I don't know. Because I'm not one of you and I don't ask questions?"

Alice felt as if she had been slapped. All this time she had assumed her brother and best friend hardly knew each other, and now she finds out that Bella probably knows more about Edward than she did. She felt jealous; he was _her _brother, after all.

Without warning Alice left the room. She walked determinedly toward Edward's room, with Bella trailing after, trying to stop her.

"Alice, please don't! I shouldn't have said anything!"

"No," Alice whirled around to face her. "You should have said something the first time it happened."

"Is it really that big of a deal?" Bella pleaded. "I just wanted to make sure that nothing happened to him. I just gave him a ride so he didn't get in an accident! Nothing ever happened! Well, except the last time…"

"You gave him rides! I thought he just called you!"

Bella blushed.

Alice was furious now, and she burst into Edward's room without so much as a courtesy knock.

"Edward Cullen!"

Edward woke with a start. He had been dreaming of Bella, and he was not pleased to be interrupted by his sister this early in the morning.

"Shit Alice," he said, rubbing his aching head. His hangover was brutal. "What do you want?"

"When were you going to tell me that you make Bella drive you home whenever you're drunk?"

"What?" he asked confusedly. His brain couldn't make sense of her words. He glanced behind her sister to see Bella, beautiful Bella, staring at the carpet, blushing.

"How long have you been taking advantage of her? She is my best friend, Edward. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Alice continued to yell at him, but Edward tuned her out. He was watching Bella. She was so pretty, and it was all he could do to not jump her right then and there.

"Edward! Are you even listening to me?" Alice demanded.

"No."

"UGH!" Alice threw up her hands before grabbing Bella and walking toward the door. After pushing Bella outside the room, Alice turned around and said, "If I find out that you ever use Bella again, there will be HELL to pay, Edward. And don't think that I'm above telling our parents about your weekend escapades."

Edward still didn't react. He knew he never should have asked Bella to drive him home that first time anyway, and now he had an actual incentive to stop. It suited him just fine.

Alice was closing the door, but at the last minute she put her head back in and said, "And if you ever touch her again while drunk, I will personally castrate you!"

Edward started. Touch her? What was Alice talking about. He heard Bella and Alice talking outside his bedroom door for a moment before the voices faded, but he couldn't make any sense out of what just happened. _Touch her?_ He'd wanted to. But he never had. At least, not in real life. Even when drunk, he had never done more than lean on her. Right?

Then it hit him. The night he was at Tyler's. When he kissed her. Or at least, he'd thought he did. But Bella had said that nothing happened. It had all been a dream. Right?

"_At least, I don't need an apology."_

Her words came back to him. Did that mean that they _had _kissed? And she just didn't regret it? Or did it mean something else?

Edward shook his head. He had no idea what to make out of the whole thing, but he was determined to find out.


	10. Ch 9: The Conversation

Edward spent the next few weeks paying special attention to Bella. He was never outright rude to her before, but now he went out of his way to be nice. He would hold the door open for her, carry her books, walk her to biology, offer her rides home. He hoped that at some point he would be able to bring up the "kiss" (or non-kiss?) with her; he needed to know what really happened that night. But in the meantime, he cared for her like a little sister; he never wanted to be accused of using her again. If he couldn't love her, then he would at least take care of her.

But Bella was confused by Edward's sudden behavior change. He sought her out on occasion, just to talk (or so he said), but he had never done that before. She was starting to wonder if Alice had said something about her feelings for him. Whatever it was, Edward was certainly being extra-friendly lately, and Bella wasn't sure if she liked it. Because she knew that it wasn't because of _her_. Either he wanted something, or Alice had gotten involved.

Bella had imagined countless times a relationship with Edward where he would seek her out just to be with her, because he couldn't stand not seeing her for more than a couple hours. And although it certainly seemed like Edward was starting to crave her attention like heroin or something, she highly doubted it was purely because she was good company. And it hurt. She felt… well, used. And she didn't like it. Because even though he was super nice to her, she still saw him in bed with other girls. She tried to convince herself that it didn't matter, that she had no right to be mad or upset or even have an opinion. But she still felt betrayed and confused.

* * *

"Alice, I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go grab a cup of water from downstairs. Do you want anything?"

Alice glanced up from her homework. "Nah, I'm fine."

"Alright." Bella bounced out of the room, in a good mood. She hadn't seen Edward all day, fortunately, and for once she had been able to convince Alice to actually do some homework before "girl time," a.k.a. torture Bella time.

Bella had just filled a cup with water in the kitchen when she heard a voice behind her.

"Fancy meeting you here."

"Ah!!" Bella jumped, splattering water everywhere.

Edward laughed. He couldn't help it. He hadn't meant to scare her, but it certainly was amusing.

Bella frowned at him before grabbing a handful of paper towels to clean up the mess.

"Here," Edward said, reaching to take the towels from her. "Let me help with that. After all, it's my fault you spilled."

"Always the gentleman," Bella muttered, but when he raised his eyebrow at her, she just shrugged. "I probably would've spilled anyway."

He laughed. "Yes, that's true." He leaned down, putting his lips right by her ear, as if to tell her a secret. "And I still would've helped," he whispered, sending a shiver down her spine. She wondered if he had any idea how much he affected her. She glanced at his face; he was smirking. Yes, he most definitely knew how much he affected her. She scowled at him before continuing to clean up the water.

Once her cup was refilled, she started walking back toward the stairs, but before she could reach them, a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Come on, Bella," Edward said as he moved to step in front of her. "You aren't mad at me, are you?" He pouted a little, making himself look even more adorable, if that was possible.

She sighed. "No, just a little frustrated with your arrogance. But not mad." She smiled to soften her words.

He grinned back at her, her favorite crooked grin that she truly wished she had a picture of. After all, pictures last longer, especially in this case.

"So how are you?" Edward asked, leaning back against the railings on the stairwell. "We haven't talked in a while."

She sighed again. "Edward, it's okay."

"What's okay?" he asked, confused. He had no idea what she was talking about.

"You don't have to be nice to me. I know you feel like you have some sort of obligation to me because of your sister, but it's really okay. You don't have to make small talk. I can handle it if you just treat me the way you treat everyone else."

"And what makes you think I don't want to know how you are?"

"You never want to know how anyone is. It's not in your genetic makeup to actually care about the little details of someone else's life. And that's okay. Most people don't actually care, but pretend anyway to be polite. But you don't have to be polite to me. I think we're past that stage now."

"Bella." He gently brushed the hair from her face. Her eyes were glued to the floor, and even now she refused to look up. "Bella, look at me."

She pulled back instead, away from his touch. She glanced at his face, embarrassed. His eyes were stunned, and there was something else there that she couldn't quite place. He almost looked… hurt. But it was gone too quickly for her to truly see. His arrogant look replaced whatever it was, and he cocked an eyebrow. She looked at her feet again.

"Please don't," she whispered. "You don't have to pretend to care anymore. I know you're only nice to me because of Alice."

"Bella, even if I _was _only nice because of Alice, I wouldn't stop now. You mean the world to my family. I couldn't hurt them that way."

"But it's hurting _me!" _Her eyes finally met his, silently begging him to understand. "Every time you touch me, every time you help me, it makes me think that you care far more than you do. And I can't take it anymore. It hurts too much to think you care and then have to see you in bed with another girl the next morning. So please, just stop pretending."

He was stunned. "Bella," he said slowly, "I'm not pretending. I do care about you. You're like a little sister to me."

Bella cried out; his words were too much. It was as if someone had taken a rusty knife and shoved it through her heart. She was sobbing into her hands now, and Edward had no idea what he'd done.

"Bella, Bella, shh," he tried to soothe her, gently rubbing her back. "I'm sorry, just please stop crying. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Her tears stopped after a while, and she was even more embarrassed than before. They were sitting side by side with their backs up against the staircase. Her water glass was by her feet.

"Sorry I overreacted," she said sheepishly, refusing to make eye contact. "I've had a tough week and I'm just super tired."

"It's alright," he said gently, still rubbing her back. "I'm sorry I was an ass."

She smiled a little before sitting up. She was back on her feet, ready to return to Alice, when Edward grabbed her hand. She turned to face him.

"Bella," he said quietly, "I truly do care about you. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm only pretending, but I can't stop taking care of you." His eyes were pleading with her to understand. "And besides," he smiled, "if I'm not there, who's gonna catch you when you fall?"

Bella smiled at him, and his heart stopped in his chest. She was so beautiful, even after spending the last five minutes crying. Edward moved closer to her, very hesitantly, giving her plenty of time to say no.

He was so close that Bella couldn't think straight. His smell was overwhelming her senses, in a good way. He kept coming closer and closer, until his lips were a mere inch away from hers. She wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them, to cross those last few millimeters, but she couldn't move. She couldn't even believe that this was happening to her.

Edward hesitated again, looking into her eyes, searching for something. Evidently whatever he was looking for he didn't find. He pulled away, rubbing the back of his neck as he did so.

Bella's eyes snapped shut as she desperately tried to keep her tears at bay. She had really believed that he would kiss her this time.

He noticed her expression. "Bella, are you okay?" he asked. She didn't answer right away. "Look, I know I had no right to do that. I mean, nothing really happened, but I had no right to even try…" he trailed off when he saw the look in her eyes.

"Are you so afraid to kiss me?" she whispered.

He chuckled, trying to break the tension in the room. "No, but maybe I should be. Who knows what Alice would do to me." Bella didn't join his laughter.

"You kissed me before," she said quietly, looking at her shoes.

His eyes closed. "After Tyler's party," he whispered. She nodded to confirm his statement, but she still didn't meet his eyes. "You said nothing happened."

"I said you didn't need to apologize for what happened."

The pain was clear on his face, but she misread it. "Was I such a bad kisser? Is it so embarrassing to know that you kissed me, even drunk? Is the thought so disgusting?" Angry tears now poured down her face.

His eyes flew open. "Disgusting? I'm disgusted with myself. I _used _you. I took advantage of you. I had hoped I'd dreamed the whole thing." He ran a hand through his already messy hair, clearly frustrated. This conversation was not going the way he wanted it to.

"Well, I don't regret it," she said stubbornly. "And you were the drunk one, not me. If anything, I took advantage of _you_."

Edward cocked an eyebrow at her. "And you don't regret that your first kiss was the result of too much to drink?"

She shook her head adamantly, though still slightly embarrassed that he knew it was her first kiss.

"Did you always imagine your first kiss with a drunk man?" he asked arrogantly.

She blushed scarlet. "No, but I always imagined it with you," she said quietly, returning her gaze to the carpet at her feet.

He groaned, wiping a hand down his face. "Bella, please, do us both a favor and just forget it. All of it. We don't belong together. We're too different."

"I know," she said in a small voice. "but you can't blame a girl for dreaming."

"God, you're so stubborn."

"You're the one who kissed me. Excuse me for thinking that you might actually like a girl like me."

They stared at each other for a moment before Edward laughed at the situation. She barely reached his shoulder, and yet she was trying to intimidate him.

"This may be some kind of joke to you, Edward, but I'm serious. If you can't follow through, then at least stop teasing me."

"I have a flirtatious nature, Bella. You of all people should know that."

"Then stop telling me to stop caring about you. I can't change how I feel, not if you're not willing to help me."

He smirked at this. "We'll see. One day you'll meet a nice guy and wonder what you ever saw in me." He wondered why this thought made his chest ache.

"Fat chance," she mumbled under her breath.

"Bella!" Alice yelled from upstairs. "Bella! Where'd you go? If you think I'm going to do all this homework by myself, you are sadly mistaken!"

"I'm downstairs, Alice," Bella called back. "I just spilled when I was getting water. I'll be right up."

When Bella turned around again, Edward was gone. She wondered if the whole conversation even took place. She sighed before trudging back up the stairs.


	11. Ch 10: The Question

"Alice, I need your help."

Alice's eyebrows shot up. Since when did Edward ask her for help?

"What do you need?" Alice asked, suspicious.

"Well, there's this girl, you see, and I want to ask her to prom, and I was wondering if -"

"Edward Anthony Cullen!"

"What?"

"How _dare _you ask for my help with that! As if I would help you ask anyone but Bella! And even then, I'm not sure I want to encourage you after the way you've treated her -"

"Alice, Bella _is _the girl I want to ask," Edward interrupted. "That's why I'm asking you. And I know that I've screwed up with Bella, but I want to make it better. And there's no one I'd rather to take to my senior prom."

"Fine," Alice said reluctantly, "I'll help you. But if I find out that _anything _happened to her, you WILL regret it."

"Of course. Now, I have some ideas, but I'm not sure what exactly she'd like. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Alice was smiling smugly. "Oh, nothing. I'm just glad to know that you actually care about her. It's been a while since you've put any effort into a relationship with someone."

"Uh…" Edward didn't know how he was supposed to respond to that.

"Okay, let's get down to business," Alice said, rubbing her hands together. "What are you thinking?"

"Well…"

* * *

The next day, Bella was running late and barely slid into her first period seat on time.

"Where were you this morning?" Alice leaned over and asked.

"Nowhere. I slept through my alarm again. Hey what's that? Did Jasper ask you to prom?" Bella asked, motioning toward the huge bouquet of flowers in Alice's hands.

"No, these are for you actually." She handed the flowers to Bella. "I was asked to deliver them since you were late this morning."

"Oh my… who gave them to you?"

Alice smirked. "You'll find out."

"Alice, please? Just a little hint?" Bella gave her the puppy-dog pout.

"Nope. I'm not spoiling this for him. Or you."

"Fine," Bella huffed. She turned back to her flowers, fingering the attached note. All it said on it was "BELLA," but it was typed, so she couldn't identify the handwriting. "It had better not be Mike Newton again. I swear I thought Jessica was going to kill me when he asked me to homecoming."

"That was so screwed up. It's not like you said yes to him."

"Somehow, I don't think Jess shares your opinion."

"It's not like they were going out then. They started dating after winter formal."

"I know. But Jess has liked him since, what? First grade? Second?"

"Kindergarten," Alice said with finality.

"See. And for whatever reason, it took him over a decade to ask her out. He even went out with _Lauren _first. I can kinda understand why Jessica's a little… territorial."

"A little?" Alice asked with a raised eyebrow.

Bella smiled. "Be nice, Alice. She _was _our friend."

"Yeah, past tense. As in before Lauren Mallory got a hold of her and spoiled her for polite company."

"Well…"

"Come on, Bella. You know Jess changed since Lauren moved here. Namely, she dropped us and started hanging out with that skunk-bag."

"But she never actually did anything to us. And Lauren has just been using her since the beginning."

"Need I remind you of your birthday party when she pushed you into the cake?"

"When we were ten?"

Alice nodded.

"Alice, we were _ten_. And besides, Lauren bumped her so she pushed me. It's not like Jess just randomly did it."

"You cried for days!"

"Because I was ten! It was a big deal back then. I'd like to think that we've matured a bit since then." Bella gave Alice a pointed look.

"Well," Alice huffed, "Jessica Stanley has no right to get mad at you if her boyfriend likes you better. It's not your fault she can't keep him under control. And if he wants to ask you to a dance, then it's his prerogative."

"Alice! Are the flowers from Mike?" Bella eyed them warily.

"No, of course not. He asked Jess yesterday after school."

"Don't scare me like that!"

"Ladies! Can you please save your conversation for after class?" Mr. Varner interrupted. "I'm sure it's very important, but I am trying to conduct a class here."

"Yes, Mr. Varner," they responded. The girls looked at each other guiltily before turning their attention to the teacher.

* * *

Bella was on her way to her next class when she was stopped in the hall by Jasper.

"Bella!" he shouted. "I have a present for you!"

Bella turned, surprised. Jasper handed her a huge box of her favorite chocolates. On the outside of the box was a typed note with one word on it: WILL.

"Enjoy!"

"Jasper, how am I supposed to carry all of this?" Bella asked, motioning toward the flowers, chocolate, and books in her arms.

"That's what lockers are for," Jasper called out over shoulder as he walked away. "I have to go ask my own girlfriend to prom."

"Wait! Jazz!" Bella called out. "Who's asking me?"

But Jasper just kept on walking.

Bella sighed and looked at the gifts in her arms. She started for her locker.

* * *

Bella was sitting quietly in third period, her other gifts safely stashed away in her locker, when a huge teddy bear walked into class. Well, in reality someone was carrying it, but it looked like the bear walked on its own.

"Delivery for Bella Swan."

Bella scowled as Alice heaved the bear on her desk.

"Alice, who sent this?" Bella demanded.

"Haven't a clue," Alice replied, smirking. "But there's a note tied around its neck." She left to go back to her own classroom.

Bella looked at the note, but as before, it only had one word: YOU. She frowned at the bear; there was no way she could carry it around all day, and it definitely wouldn't fit in her locker.

* * *

It was almost lunch, and Bella was starving. She had dumped the bear, chocolate, and flowers in her truck at snack, but the whole thing was aggravating her. Who was asking her?

Fifteen minutes before the bell rang, Angela swept into Bella's class.

"Here, Bella," she said, depositing a plate of cookies on Bella' desk before ducking out of the room.

Bella looked at the cookies and groaned; sure enough, written there in the frosting was the word "GO." Bella tried to ignore the curious looks of her classmates, but it was useless.

"Hey, Bella," Mike asked, leaning toward her. "What's that?"

"A plate of cookies." _Duh_.

"Who're they from?" he asked.

"I don't know," Bella said through clenched teeth. It wasn't Mike's fault, but she had had a long day and really didn't need all the questions.

"Well, if you don't know who they're from, you probably shouldn't eat them. Who knows where they've been?"

"I appreciate your concern, Mike," Bella said, trying not to lose her patience, "but it's not really any of your business. Thanks anyway."

Bella breathed a sigh of relief when the lunch bell cut off whatever Mike was trying to say. She rushed out of the class so she could question Alice that much sooner.

* * *

There was a big commotion in the hallway. As Bella got closer, she could see that Alice and Jasper seemed to be in the middle of it all. In fact, Alice was yelling at Jasper.

"I can't believe you!" she shouted.

"Ali, baby, come on," Jasper pleaded. "It was a joke."

"That's it. I'm done with your 'jokes.' Is it so much to ask for you to just take this relationship seriously for one second? This is _prom_, Jazz! It's not a joke!" And with that Alice turned and stomped away.

Bella noticed Angela, and made her way toward her friend.

"Hey, what happened?" Bella asked.

Angela was smiling, clearly amused by what had just happened, despite the fight. "Jasper asked Alice to prom."

"But why the big fight?"

"It was _how _he asked her. Apparently he stuffed her locker with balls: tennis balls, ping pong balls, golf balls, anything he could find. He wrote a note that said 'I finally got the balls to ask you to prom,' or something along those lines. Well, obviously Alice was pissed. And when she opened her locker and the balls came flying out, her toes got nailed and she'll probably have some bruises."

"Ouch." Bella looked around, having finally noticed that the balls were still all over the hallway. "No wonder she's mad."

"Yeah, but they'll be fine by tomorrow. You know how they are."

The girls rolled their eyes before heading off to lunch.

* * *

During lunch Tyler insisted on buying Bella's meal, on behalf of her mystery gift-giver, of course. He wouldn't let her refuse and handed her a note with the word "TO" on it. He also refused to give any hint as to who was behind all of this.

Bella was really frustrated by the time Biology rolled around. She just wanted to know who was sending her all the presents, and it felt like the whole world knew but no one would tell her.

She walked into the classroom and stopped. There was something on her desk.

_Great_, she thought, _another gift_.

She glanced around but only a few people were there, and none of them seemed like viable suspects (especially since Mr. Banner was one of them).

One her desk was a CD that said "Bella's PROM Mix." She picked it up gently before putting it in her backpack. She didn't need Mike analyzing her gifts again.

But she didn't put it away quickly enough.

"What's that?"

Bella froze. That wasn't Mike's voice.

"Umm… nothing." _Nice, Bella. Real smooth_.

"It's obviously not nothing," Edward said, amused.

"It's a CD."

"So I gathered."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because I'm curious. Who's it from?"

"It's none of your concern."

"Ouch. Come on, Bella. I thought we'd moved past this stage."

Bella sighed. "In all honesty, I have no idea who left it."

Edward raised his eyebrow. "Is that safe?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "You sound like Mike."

"Heaven forbid." He shuddered. "But still. Anyone could be leaving you stuff. It might be someone creepy."

"Well, Alice is helping, so theoretically, whoever it is she approves of. But I guess you do have a point…"

Edward laughed. "If Alice is in on it, you should probably be extra cautious. Who knows what that girl is thinking."

Bella laughed too. They continued to talk until the bell rang. Bella's day was certainly improving, but the mystery gift-giver was still frustrating her. She just wanted to go home and be done with the whole thing.

* * *

Bella walked out to her truck after school and stopped in her tracks. Tied to her mirror on the driver's side was a bunch of balloons. As she moved closer, she could see that a note was attached. It said, "WITH."

Bella sighed before adding the balloons to her other presents. She was going to have to take a million trips to get all of her things inside the house when she got home.

Bella pulled up to her house and then froze. Sitting on her porch with a bouquet of flowers in his hands was a boy.

"Oh, no," she said softly. "Not you." She didn't want to spend her prom with him.

Bella got out of her truck. "Hey," she said cautiously. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, especially after all of the nice things he got her.

The boy stood up. "Hey, Bella. What's all that stuff you got there?"

Bella froze. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, you have balloons and stuff in your truck. Is it your birthday or something? 'Cuz I totally would've gotten you a present if I knew."

"Eric, didn't you… I mean, uh, you're not… umm, well… What are you doing here?"

"Oh, of course," Eric said, coming down the driveway toward her. "I almost forgot. Bella Swan, will you go to prom with me?" He held the flowers out to her and smiled.

"Uh…"

His smile faltered.

"Well, uh, Eric, you see-"

"Oh." He seemed to realize what the balloons were for. "I get it. Someone else already asked you, huh?"

Bella nodded reluctantly. She really didn't want to hurt his feelings, but the other guy, whoever he is, did start asking first.

"Oh." Eric looked disappointed. "Well, here." He held the flowers out again. "Take them anyway. I got them for you, so it's only natural that you keep them."

Bella took the flowers reluctantly. "Thank you, Eric. They're lovely."

Eric glanced inside the truck window. His eyes widened. "Well, they aren't as nice as those, but they were all I could get."

"No, really, Eric," Bella reassured them. "They're beautiful. And I'm sorry that you took the time to plan this and all. I do appreciate it."

Eric shrugged. "It's no big. Well, I hope you have fun with… whoever he is." He walked toward his car, his disappointment clear in his steps.

_Yeah, me too_, thought Bella as she turned back toward her house. _If only I knew who_…

* * *

The doorbell rang. Bella was surprised; few people ever came to their house unannounced. Charlie was working again, so she ran downstairs to open the door. She was not expecting the person standing on the other side.

A boy stood there, holding a sign with one simple word: ME?

Bella's hand flew to her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. She just stood there and looked at him. He didn't move. They stayed that way for minutes, neither willing to break the moment.

Finally, Bella whispered, "It was you."

He nodded warily. She still hadn't answered him.

Bella slowly smiled, and then threw her arms around him. "Of course I will go to prom with you, Edward," she whispered in his ear. He picked her up and spun her around. Their laughter filled the air. He had lead her on a merry chase that day, but in the end, it had all been worth it. They were going to prom together. They would finally get their happily ever after. Right?


	12. Ch 11: Preparations

Bella had been floating on a cloud ever since Edward asked her to prom. She had never been a dance person, what with actually having to dance and all, but she was looking forward to this so much it hurt. She had this sinking feeling that it was all a dream or a mean joke or something. But it was real. Bella Swan and Edward Cullen were going to prom together. Who would've guessed?

The last few weeks before prom were hectic, to say the least. Alice and Rosalie dragged Bella to about a million different stores in order to find the "perfect" dress, and Alice was crazier than usual, what with planning the limo, making reservations for dinner, and figuring out who was in their group.

Bella was just glad that things were going as smoothly as they were. After all, knowing her luck, something was bound to go wrong eventually.

It was the week before prom, and Bella and Angela finished their biology lab early. Like usual, Edward and Tanya were already finished and sitting on opposite sides of the room. Bella and Angela made their way to their seats, talking quietly. A few minutes later, Angela excused herself to go to the bathroom. Tanya made her way over to Bella and sat down where Angela had been sitting before.

"Hey Bella," she said.

"Hey," Bella replied. "What's up?" They had talked a few times throughout the year, but Bella didn't consider Tanya a close friend. An acquaintance maybe, but not much more.

"Nothing. I'm just getting tired of Edward ignoring me."

"He's still ignoring you?" Bella arched an eyebrow.

"Oh, he's much better than he was before," Tanya said quickly. "He hasn't been so nice to me in a long time. But that's only during bio. Outside of doing labs together, he doesn't really talk to me, and it gets kinda frustrating, you know?"

"He's never really struck me as the talkative type," Bella mused. "But at least he's being nice to you now."

"Yeah, I know," Tanya agreed. She changed the subject. "So are you going to prom? You're a junior, right?"

"Yeah, I'm going," Bella answered absently. She was distracted by the way the sunlight streamed through the windows and made Edward look like a model. He was so beautiful.

"Who are you going with?" Tanya asked.

"Hmm? Oh, uh," Bella hesitated, before deciding to just tell the truth. Tanya would find out anyway. "I'm actually going with, uh, with Edward." Her voice dropped at the end of the sentence, and she was afraid to look at Tanya.

"Oh." Tanya was surprised. "It's alright, Bella."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's not your fault or anything. How did he ask you?"

"Well…" Bella hesitated again. She wasn't sure if Tanya was just being polite, and she didn't want to hurt her more. "It was really casual. Just like, 'hey, you wanna go?' And I said sure."

Tanya nodded, trying to keep her emotions under control. She certainly hadn't expected Edward to ask her, but it still hurt.

"So are you going with Alice and Jasper?" Tanya asked.

"Uh, yeah. The four of us are going together in a group with a few others."

"That should be fun."

"Yeah."

The conversation was starting to get extremely awkward, but at that moment, Angela returned and they talked about other topics. Eventually the bell rang and the girls made their way toward the door.

"Tanya," Bella called as the girl was about to walk away.

"Yes?" She turned back.

"I really am sorry."

"I know. And thanks."

Bella smiled, and Tanya smiled back. Bella was grateful that their relationship wasn't messed up because of something like prom. They might not have been close friends, but she didn't need anymore enemies.

"Oh, and good luck on prom queen," Bella called out as Tanya started to walk away. Tanya turned around and nodded her thanks as other students pushed their way in between them. Bella sighed. This whole prom thing was more complicated than she had anticipated.

* * *

Bella woke up the morning of prom knowing that that day was going to be the best day of her life. Or rather, that night would be. The daytime itself might not be so great. After all, she had been forced to promise Alice free reign over dressing her, and to be perfectly honest, Bella was a little scared. Not of Alice, although she could be scary. It was more of putting all this time and effort into looking good for Edward, and him not liking it. She trusted Alice; Bella knew Alice could make anyone look gorgeous, but still, she hesitated. If she was going to be uncomfortable in all that makeup, Edward had better like it.

Bella sighed before rolling over to look at her clock. It was 10:00. She still had a couple hours before she was supposed to be at the Cullen's. She rolled back over and fell asleep again.

* * *

Edward woke up to an insistent knock on his door. He rolled over and glanced at his clock. 10:30 on a Saturday morning. _What's with this family and waking up early?_

"Yeah?"

"Edward, it's time to get up." Alice burst through the door. "Here's a list of all the things you need to do before tonight." She thrust a piece of paper at him. "Everyone is meeting here for pictures at 5:00, so make sure you're ready."

Edward looked at the list and groaned. "Seriously, Alice? Why do I have to do all this stuff?"

"Because you want Bella to have a good time tonight."

Edward had no reply to that, and Alice breezed out of his room a moment later. Edward rolled back over to try to go back to sleep, but he was interrupted.

"Edward!"

Edward groaned into his pillow. "Seriously? What is wrong with this family? Haven't you heard of knocking, Emmett?"

Emmett smiled unapologetically as he sat at Edward's desk. "The door was open, which means that Alice was already in here, so it's not like you were asleep."

Edward kept his head buried in his pillow, refusing to look at his brother.

"Look, Edward, I just wanted to make sure that you know what's expected of you tonight."

Edward sat up. "Em, I've been to prom before, remember? We were in the same group and everything."

"Yeah, but you went with Tanya. You've never been to prom with a girl you really care about," Emmett explained. "So shut up and take notes."

"I hate to break it to you, Emmett," Edward replied, "but I would never take relationship advice from you. You may know what works for you, but I'm not you and Bella is most certainly not Rose."

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie." Emmett shook his head. "There are certain things that all girls love. Bella and Rose may not have a lot in common, but they are both female. So that means that you should open the door for her, hold chairs out for her, and get her punch. Just be a gentleman. Or at least try."

"Jeez Emmett. I'm not a complete idiot. I planned on doing all of that."

"Well, then good. I was just checking. You don't exactly have the best track record."

"Believe me, I know."

"Which is why, by the way, I'm curious. What changed your mind?"

"About what?"

"Asking Bella. I mean, you used to avoid her like the plague. And then you would talk, but not on a personal level or anything. And then randomly you ask her to prom? It doesn't really make sense."

"Did Rosalie tell you to ask me?"

"Uh… maybe. But that's not the point."

Edward chuckled. "Of course not. I was just pretty sure that you didn't have that insight."

"Whatever. But you didn't answer my question. What changed your mind?"

Edward shrugged. "I don't really know. I mean, Bella's just always been there, you know. And she's always taken care of us, our whole family. And at some point, I guess, I just kinda realized that I like her. As more than just a friend. But by that time I was pretty screwed up. Bella deserves more than I can give her. Someone who doesn't have a reputation as an ass."

"Someone like Newton?" Emmett joked. Mike's attempts to ask Bella out had been a long-running joke in the family.

"Fuck you." Emmett laughed at the expression on Edward's face. "Mike Newton is definitely not the perfect guy for her." Emmett raised an eyebrow. "I'm not saying that I am," Edward defended himself, "but maybe I could be, eventually. I'm certainly willing to try. And as soon as I came to that conclusion, I realized that the best time to try to start changing is now. So I asked her. Is that an acceptable answer?"

Emmett nodded. "Dude, you are so whipped."

"So are you!"

"Yeah, but at least I'm actually dating my girl."

Edward flinched. Shockingly, Emmett was exactly right. For once.

"Well, at least Bella doesn't call me a monkey man."

Emmett's face went bright red. "Hey, that was once! And you shouldn't have been eavesdropping."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"Edward! Are you up yet? You better have started on my list! And Emmett, don't think that you're off the hook! I need your help, too!"

The brothers rolled their eyes at their sister. But both got up and started to do what she asked.

* * *

Bella was going crazy. Alice and Rosalie had been working on her for hours, but she wasn't allowed to see herself. The dress was gorgeous, and she knew that Rose and Alice were pros with hair and makeup, but it was still disconcerting that all of the mirrors had been covered. Something about only being allowed to see the finished product…

Bella was currently sitting with curlers in her hair while Alice got ready. It took her half the time, and she was doing everything herself.

"Alright," Alice said, straightening up from in front of a makeup mirror. "All finished."

"Oh, Ali," Bella breathed. "You look so pretty."

Alice flushed with pleasure. "Thanks, Bells. Don't worry, you're going to look even better!"

"I still don't understand why you guys are spending so much time on me," Bella complained as Alice moved to add finishing touches to Bella's makeup.

"Because Alice already has her guy," Rose explained. "Edward may have asked you to prom, and I know he really likes you, but until you guys are actually boyfriend-girlfriend, we're gonna go all out."

"And besides," Alice added, "it's fun!"

Bella rolled her eyes, but allowed the others to finish their work on her. She just hoped that Edward would appreciate all of the torture she was going through.

* * *

Edward was getting impatient. It was after 5:00, and everyone was gathered in the living room except Rosalie, Alice, and Bella. Edward knew his sister wanted them to make a dramatic entrance, like in the movies, but he just wanted to see Bella. She had been over for hours but he had yet to see her. It was driving him crazy.

Rosalie entered the room just then, making a beeline for her boyfriend. She glanced over at Edward and smirked. Edward was a bit wary because of her expression, but he shrugged it off. She was always looking at him as if she knew some big secret.

Alice entered next, and she was stunning. Jasper was dumbstruck, and Emmett laughed at the expression on his face. Alice walked to her boyfriend, but not before smiling at Edward. He was starting to get nervous. Why were the girls looking at him that way?

At last, Bella walked in, and the room fell silent. She was beautiful. Rosalie and Alice clearly knew what they were doing when it came to hair and makeup, and the dress was perfect.

Edward was floored. His jaw dropped, and his heart stopped in his chest before rapidly starting up again. He couldn't believe that she was his, at least for the night.

Bella tentatively walked toward her date, unsure if he liked it. He was just staring at her, his eyes darker than normal. About a foot away, she hesitated.

Edward saw her hesitation, and it brought him out of his stupor. He stepped forward and offered his arm. Bella gladly took it.

"Isn't Bella beautiful tonight?" Alice asked her brother meaningfully.

Edward shook his head. Bella bowed her head, tears starting to form. He didn't like it, didn't like her.

He lifted her chin with his finger. "Beautiful does not even begin to describe you tonight," he whispered in her ear. Bella blushed. She made a mental note to thank Alice later.


	13. Ch 12: Prom Night

Bella was walking on air as she entered the gym on Edward's arm. She never believed that she would be here, at prom, with the boy she loved and her best friends. Even that morning she had been unsure, and yet here she was. It was nothing short of a fairytale.

The gym looked like the set of a cheesy high-school movie. There were streamers and banners hanging from the walls, a disco ball in the middle of the dance floor, and teachers acting as chaperons who were having a tough time actually doing their jobs.

"Come dance with me," Edward leaned over and whispered in Bella's ear. His voice sent shivers up her spine.

"I can't dance, remember?"

Edward laughed at her expression before grabbing her hand and dragging her out onto the dance floor. "Bella, do you really think I'd let you fall?"

Bella still hesitated, but by that time Edward had guided her to the middle of the floor, and soon she was dancing next to him and Alice. She tried, rather unsuccessfully at first, to move to the beat. Eventually, however, she found a rhythm. She was dancing, and actually enjoying it. Bella was sure she was dreaming. She was just as sure that she never wanted to wake up.

Edward watched Bella dance. It made him smile the way she finally let go and allowed the music to flow through her. She wasn't a bad dancer once she wasn't worried about falling. Actually, she was pretty good, and he couldn't get enough of watching her. She was so beautiful. He didn't know how she didn't see it. Yeah, Alice helped fixed her up a bit tonight for prom, but Edward loved her best when she walked into the kitchen the morning after a sleepover without brushing her hair or putting on makeup. The natural Bella was his favorite. _Not that I have a right to an opinion_, he reminded himself. _But maybe soon…_

Bella was starting to get thirsty, and she was grateful when Edward leaned down and asked if she wanted to take a break. They left the dance floor together and made their way to the punch bowl.

"Here you go," Edward said, handing her a drink.

"Thanks."

They sipped their drinks in silence, watching other couples dance.

"So are you excited about Dartmouth?" Bella asked, trying to start a conversation.

Edward shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's a good school, certainly the best one I got into. It's just weird that next year I'm gonna be on the other side of the country."

Bella nodded. "That's gonna be tough on your parents. I mean, they kinda got lucky with Emmett going to community college. And with Alice wanting to go to University of Washington, you're the only one leaving the state."

"Which was the plan all along, of course."

Bella smiled at him, but it was a smile tinged with sadness.

"But," Edward continued, "that was before Grandpa got worse."

Esme and Carlisle had been trying to visit the grandparents at least twice a month, but recently Carlisle had been taking days off work to spend even more time with his father. It was only a matter of time, and Bella knew that Edward was worried that something would happen while he was away at college.

"Things will work out," Bella said, trying to soothe him. He smiled at her through tight eyes.

"Let's talk about something else." Bella let him change the subject, and soon they felt rested enough to dance again.

* * *

The evening progressed smoothly. Bella only tripped a handful of times, but Edward always caught her before she fell. Soon Mr. Greene took the stage to announce prom king and queen. Edward reluctantly left Bella's side to take his place onstage as a part of prom court.

"Alright, everyone," Mr. Greene called out. "Quiet down. I know you're all anxious to hear the results, so just settle down."

Alice found Bella and they stood side-by-side watching the stage.

"You know," Alice said conversationally, "Edward has a very good chance of winning."

Bella shrugged. "Yeah, I know. I voted for him."

Alice lifted an eyebrow. "And then he would have to dance with Prom Queen."

Bella nodded. "And your point…"

"Well, he's _your _date. I wouldn't want some other girl dancing with Jasper."

Bella laughed. "It's not a big deal, Alice. It's not like Edward's never danced with anyone else before. It's just not worth it for me to be jealous."

"Yeah, you say that _now_," Alice countered, "but when Lauren has her hands all over him…"

"I'll laugh at the expression on his face," Bella finished. "And besides, I doubt Lauren will win. How she got on court is still a mystery."

Alice rolled her eyes before the two turned their attention back to the principal.

"And the Prom King is… Michael Newton!"

Alice and Bella looked at each other before bursting out laughing. Mike was fairly popular, so it wasn't a huge shock that he won. It was just funny because Jessica was going to be pissed that some other girl would dance with him.

"Look at her face!" Alice laughed, pointing toward their former friend.

Jessica was indeed very upset, and it clearly showed on her face.

"Congratulations Mike," Mr. Greene said, placing the ridiculous crown on the boy's head. The crowd cheered as Bella and Alice continued to laugh. Their mirth was interrupted, however, when the principal opened the second envelope.

"And your Prom Queen is… Tanya Gibson!"

Bella and Alice paused, looked at each other, and then continued to laugh.

"That poor girl," Bella said between giggles. "Now she has to dance with Mike!"

"It's too bad Lauren didn't win," Alice said. "That would've been hilarious!"

The two tried to control their laughter as the music started for Mike and Tanya to dance together. By the time Edward made his way to them from the stage, they barely had themselves under control.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked.

Alice glanced at her friend before replying, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Sure, Alice. I believe you." He offered his arm to his date, and soon they were dancing together again.

* * *

Bella was about to leave her bathroom stall when she heard the other girls come in.

"I can't believe that she's here with _him_," the first voice said. Bella froze, recognizing Lauren Mallory.

"Well, he did ask her," the other girl reminded Lauren. Bella smiled as she identified Jessica's voice. "And it was really romantic, too. Remember all of the flowers and presents?"

"Yeah, but we all know that was just because Alice practically, like, _forced_, him to," Lauren insisted.

"I don't think Edward would do that just because of Alice," Jess contradicted.

"Last time he asked Tanya, his _girlfriend_, and he didn't do any of that shit for _her_. Alice was totally involved this year."

"True, but he probably asked Alice for help because she's Bella's friend."

"And you don't find it weird that he randomly asked her to prom?"

"Well…"

"Exactly. I overheard some of the football guys discussing, like, how much Edward's gonna make tonight after he sleeps with her. She's such a slut."

"I don't think he would do that," Jessica defended Edward, but she didn't sound as sure this time. Bella felt tears pricking her eyes.

"Yeah, because Edward Cullen has _never _slept with a girl in order to win a bet," Lauren said sarcastically.

"But it's Bella."

"Exactly. Why would _he _want to go anywhere with _her_?"

"Well…"

"God, how long does it take to pee?" Lauren said loudly.

Bella felt her face turn bright red. As she shuffled out of the stall she heard a gasp and a snort. She quickly washed her hands quickly before leaving, her face still flushed.

Edward was waiting right outside the bathroom.

"What took so long?" he asked, slightly anxious. "I was worried."

"Do you really want to know what took so long?" Bella asked, becoming angry. How dare those girls think that Edward would only ask her as a bet! And yet, hadn't she had the same doubts? She still wasn't sure _why _he asked her. It wasn't as if they were going out. Or even friends.

Edward hesitated before answering her question. He was pretty sure that no matter what he said, he would be in trouble, but he had no idea what had put Bella in such a bad mood.

"Yes…" His answer sounded more like a question.

"Lauren and Jessica were trying to figure out why you asked me to prom. Apparently the only reason you would ever ask me is if you stood to make some cash."

"Bella, you know I would never-"

"Do I?" Bella interrupted. "You're forgetting who you're talking to, Edward. I've seen you at your worst. I've seen you break lots of girls' hearts because of bets. It's very plausible, and frankly, you have yet to give me a different explanation. I don't know why I even came. I should have known better."

The end of her speech was spoken under her breathe, but Edward still heard, and the words cut into his heart.

"Bella," he tried to placate her, "I would never do that to you. Yeah, I've done some dumb stuff in the past, but I would never do something like that to _you_. Alice would kill me," he tried to joke.

Bella looked at him, and the expression in her eyes just about killed Edward. The pain he saw there was like a punch to the gut. He couldn't breathe.

"This isn't funny, Edward. Just answer me this: did you make a bet about tonight?"

"No, I didn't."

Bella looked at him. "I don't believe you," she whispered sadly.

"Bella…"

She turned away, talking to herself. "Well, I guess that answers that question."

"Bella, wait."

She turned back. "I wanted this could work, Edward, I really and truly did. But I don't _trust _you, and I don't believe you. I - I don't think I can stay here with you." She turned on her heel and walked away.

Edward was stunned. Somehow she thought that he only asked her because of a bet. He had to stop her, to correct her, to make things right, but the words never came. It was like he was seeing everything under a haze of pain, and he was powerless to stop Bella as she walked toward the door. He was helpless to stop her phone call to Jacob Black to come take her home, and unable to stop her from leaving. He stood there, arms outstretched as if to catch something. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't think. He had just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. _No_, he thought, _you can't lose something you never had_. He was pathetic, and now he was alone, too.

* * *

Bella had immediately flung herself on her bed and sobbed when she got home that night. She cried until she had no more tears, and then she cried some more. Her phone had started ringing within the hour, and she knew that Alice was trying to get a hold of her, but she couldn't face her best friend. Not yet, anyway. So she stayed within the confines of her room, only venturing to the kitchen or the bathroom when necessary.

She ignored the rest of the world all Sunday. And Monday. And Tuesday. On Wednesday Alice banged on her door and shouted at her for over an hour, but Bella just ignored her. Deep down, Bella knew that Alice had nothing to do with it, but she didn't feel like talking to her.

The only people she saw for the next week were Charlie and Eric. And the only reason she let Eric in was because he wasn't trying to make a move (for once) and he brought her homework. Edward stopped by Friday afternoon, but he left after twenty minutes of knocking. Bella knew she had to go back to school soon, but she just couldn't seem to summon the energy to get out of bed.

The next Monday, Bella finally showed up at school, and she was determined to pretend like nothing happened. When Lauren made a snide remark about prom, Bella responded with a prompt, "At least I'm not pregnant," and smiled at the surprised look on Lauren's face. When Angela gently asked what was wrong, Bella just smiled and said she didn't want to talk about it. When Alice tried to talk to her, Bella walked the other way.

And when she saw Edward, well, she was filled with this uncontrollable desire to break down and cry. At least she made it to the bathroom before losing it. Unfortunately, the bathroom only reminded her of prom, and she cried harder.

It was getting ridiculous. Bella Swan was officially losing it, because of a boy who had never even claimed to like her. As she walked up her porch steps at the end of the day, she sighed. _I am pathetic_. _At least school's almost out._

* * *

Edward didn't know what to do. Bella skipped an entire week of school because of him, and then when she came back, she ignored him. He tried to talk to her, tried to figure out what on earth happened, tried to apologize, but she refused to even acknowledge his presence, much less respond to his questions. It was killing him, and he didn't know what to do. Bella was ignoring Alice, too, and Edward knew his sister was hurting because of it.

_This is exactly why I waited so long to make a move. I didn't want to hurt her, and I didn't want to involve Alice. I ended up doing both, and I have no idea how to fix this. What am I going to do now?_


	14. Ch 13: Grow Up

Time passed. School let out for the summer, and Bella still wasn't talking to the Cullens. It was weird, not going to their house every day. And Bella was lonely because Charlie still worked just as much as before, only now she had no escape from her empty house. It wasn't how Bella would've chosen to spend her summer before senior year, but she just didn't feel like going out. Finishing the school year had been hard enough, and now she was glad for the opportunity to stay home.

Bella was sitting on her bed, reading a book for English, when her bedroom door was thrown open. She started and looked up. Standing there was a very angry Alice.

They stared at each other for a minute before Bella broke the silence.

"How did you get in here?" she asked.

"The back door was open."

"Oh."

They were silent again.

"So, uh, what are you, uh, doing here?"

"I'm here to figure out why my best friend hasn't talked to me in weeks!"

"Oh."

Alice's angry expression faltered, and Bella could see the hurt underneath.

"What happened Bella?"

"What - what do you mean?" Bella looked down, refusing to meet Alice's gaze.

"You know what I mean. You haven't talked to me since prom. And I don't even know why! What did I do? I asked Edward what happened, and he said he didn't know. I lost my best friend, and I don't even know why! Bella, what's going on?"

"Alice…" Bella bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

"Bella, please, just tell me what happened," Alice pleaded, moving to sit next to her on the bed. "I promise I won't be mad. I have a right to know why I'm losing my best friend, don't I?"

Bella sighed. "You didn't do anything, Alice."

"Then why have you been ignoring me? Why haven't you returned my calls?"

"Because you would choose your brother over me every time."

Alice was hurt. "Not necessarily. Not if he was being a complete idiot. And anyway, you didn't even give me a choice."

Bella shrugged. "But I know you. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Family should come first, always."

"But Bella…"

"Alice, please, just… leave it alone. I can't - I just can't _bear _to see him right now, and you just remind me so much of him…"

Alice put her arm around her friend. "Bella, even though family comes first, you're still my best friend. Will you at least answer my calls now? We can hang out here; you don't have to see him. This is the summer before _senior year_, and I want to spend it with you."

Bella sighed. "I want to spend it with you too, Alice. Just… not around him."

Alice nodded. "I can handle that. But you're going to have to tell me what happened eventually. Just not today. I won't push you too hard. Now come on, get up! Its way too soon to be doing homework," Alice said, grabbing the book from Bella's hands. "Let's go shopping!"

Bella got up and put a hand on Alice's arm to stop her.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I was being unreasonable. I just… I wasn't exactly thinking straight after prom. I shouldn't have ignored you like that. It's just that, after the first couple days, it was too hard to _not _ignore you, even though you didn't do anything. I'm so sorry."

Alice smiled. "It's okay, Bella."

"No, it's not," Bella insisted, shaking her head. "I'm just lucky to have a best friend who won't give up on me.

Alice's smile became a full-blown grin. "Glad to be of service. Now, come on! We have to make up for lost time! And I don't want to here any complaints! Consider this shopping spree your punishment for ignoring me."

Bella allowed Alice to drag her from the room. She smiled. She had missed her best friend.

* * *

Edward was bored. He didn't feel like hanging out with anyone and he didn't feel like getting up and doing something. He was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, when Alice burst into his room.

"Edward, you really should try to be more social," Alice reprimanded.

Edward didn't even look up.

"I went to see Bella today. She didn't ignore me this time."

Edward slowly sat up and stared at his sister. After a pause he said, "How is she doing? Is she - is she okay?"

"She still wouldn't talk to me about prom, but at least she's not ignoring me anymore. Are you sure you told me everything from that night?"

"Alice, I don't know _what _happened. Everything was fine until she went to the bathroom. I'm sorry that she stopped talking to you, but I really don't know what went wrong."

Alice sighed and walked over to his bed. "She's lost some weight, you know, and I've never seen her look so sad."

Edward nodded slowly, processing the information. "But she's talking to you again. That's good, right?"

"Yeah, she's talking to me, but only as long as I don't mention you and we don't hang out here."

Edward took a deep breath to try to ease the pain in his heart. The words hurt more than he expected.

"She's lucky I missed her so much, because I never would've let someone else off the hook like that for ignoring me for a month!" Alice paused and glanced at her brother. Although he was trying to hide it, she could see pain etched on his face. "Edward, I think it might be best if you just left her alone for the moment. I know that's not what you want to hear, but she's really hurting right now."

Edward nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry," Alice whispered, placing a hand on his arm. "I really hope this turns out alright in the end."

Alice walked out of the room, and then stuck her head back in. "And Edward, remember that in the end, I'm on your side. I love you."

Edward nodded again, unable to come up with a more eloquent response. After Alice left he resumed his position lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Only this time, there was a throbbing pain in his chest. He really missed his sister's best friend.

* * *

A few weeks passed, and Bella fell into a summer routine. Alice came over most days; Bella was grateful that they had patched up their friendship. They would go shopping or to the movies or to the beach or sometimes just hang out at the house. Bella was enjoying her summer, more than she thought she would. Granted, she still felt like there was this huge hole in her life and in her heart, but it was getting easier to breathe. Alice provided excellent distractions.

One night, there was a knock on the door. Alice was out on a date with Jasper, so Bella wasn't expecting company. She was even more surprised when she found Rosalie standing on the porch. It wasn't that she didn't like Rose, it was just that Bella only really hung out with Rosalie when the whole group was there.

"Hey, Rose," Bella greeted her.

"Hey, Bella," Rosalie replied. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Bella stepped aside to let her pass. "What's up?"

"I was hoping we could talk," Rosalie replied.

"Okay," Bella said, leading her to the family room so they could sit on the sofa. "Did you have a specific topic in mind?"

"Prom night."

Bella was stunned. She knew Rosalie was forward, but this was a little extreme.

"I know that it's not really any of my business, but I figured you probably need to talk about it, and it would be easier to talk to someone who's not a Cullen."

"It's not that big of a deal really…"

"Then why did you ignore Alice for a month?" Rosalie demanded. "And why are you _still _avoiding Edward?"

Bella blushed and fumbled for an excuse. "Well…"

"Bella," Rosalie said, reaching for her hand, "I consider us to be friends. Perhaps not best friends, but we are friends. And as a friend, I'm concerned. You haven't been over in weeks, and it's just weird. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. But I think you need to talk it out."

"It just… hurts to talk about," Bella said, finally acquiescing.

Rose patted her shoulder. "Just let it out, Bella. You'll feel better after."

And so Bella told Rosalie the whole story, from the dancing to the bathroom conversation. She left nothing out. When she finished, Rosalie just sat there, silent, digesting the story.

Finally, Rose looked up. "I don't get it, Bella."

"Don't get what?"

"What happened? Why did you get upset and walk out? Edward didn't do anything." Bella didn't respond, so Rose continued. "I mean, he wasn't mean or rude. He didn't force you to, you know, go farther than you wanted to. In fact, it seems to me like he was the perfect date. You let two girls, who you hate, by the way, completely ruin your night. You listened to Lauren Mallory, a girl who not only hates you but was also probably pissed that she didn't get prom queen, over Edward. It just doesn't make sense."

Bella sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"Then why did you walk out?"

"Because I didn't know it then. I was hurt and confused and upset and not thinking, obviously. I just couldn't stand to be there for one more minute."

"Bella…"

"Yeah, I know. But Rose, it might be for the best."

Rosalie looked at Bella as though she had grown a second head. "What?"

"I've had a lot of time to think these past few weeks, and I realized something: I don't trust Edward. I mean, come on, I believed _Lauren _over him. It doesn't make any sense at all, and yet that's what I did. Looking back, he probably didn't make a bet or anything like that, but at the time, I was completely convinced for no reason. Even when he flat-out told me there was no bet, I didn't believe him. And that scares me. How can I have a relationship with someone I doubt so much?"

"Sometimes it's not about trust. I don't trust Emmett with much. I would never trust him with my makeup or with breakables or small children. But I do trust him with my heart, and that's enough for us."

"But that's the one thing I _can't _trust Edward with."

"Why not?"

"Believe me, Rose. I have seen him break more hearts than I can count."

"But he's changed. He hasn't gone to a party or even been on a date since well before prom. He's been hanging out with his family more, and just been nicer in general. He's finally given up his 'bad-boy player' attitude, or whatever you want to call it. He's really been trying to change, Bella, and he's doing it for you."

Bella was stunned. She had noticed that Edward was acting different the last weeks of school, but she hadn't realized the extent of the change. And she certainly hadn't known that she was his inspiration.

"But…"

"Bella, honestly, you're acting like a child. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I think you need to listen to this. You let one little thing almost ruin your friendship with Alice, and she wasn't even a part of it. And you could've had this great thing with Edward, but you refuse to admit that you made a mistake. And now you're latching onto this obscure reasoning that defends your actions but makes absolutely no sense. You need to just get over it and stop being stubborn and immature and apologize to him. He still loves you, you know."

Bella just sat there. She resented what Rosalie was saying. Rose wasn't her and she didn't understand Bella's feelings.

Rosalie watched emotions play across Bella's face. She stood up. "Listen, Bella, I won't say anything about what happened. But just think about what I said. And ask yourself this: is it really Edward you don't trust? Because it seems to me that that's just an excuse. I'll see myself out."

And with that Rosalie left. Bella just sat there one the family room sofa, trying to digest her conversation with Rosalie. She was deep in thought when her dad came home.

"Bella," Charlie said, "what's wrong? You're usually asleep by the time I get home."

Bella looked at the clock. "I just lost track of time, Charlie. Don't worry about it."

"Alright, if you say so." Charlie started up the stairs. "I'm gonna go to bed. Don't stay up too late."

Bella nodded.

"Oh, and don't forget we were invited to go to La Push on Saturday," Charlie called from upstairs.

"Okay," Bella called back. After a few more minutes, she made her way to her room. But it was hours later that she finally fell asleep. She couldn't get her conversation with Rose out of her mind. _Maybe it is time for me to grow up a little bit..._


	15. Ch 14: La Push

Bella sat in the front seat of her dad's car as they headed towards La Push. She was filled with trepidation because she wasn't sure if she really wanted to see Jacob right now. She liked him; he was one of her best friends. But he had this habit of being able to see exactly what she was feeling, especially when she didn't want him to know. And since the last time she had seen him had been prom night, she wasn't exactly looking forward to the explaining she knew she would have to do today.

Jake also had this crush on Bella that she hated. It put a strain on their relationship and made her uncomfortable. And since Jake knew about every single aspect of Bella's relationship with Edward, there was a 'rivalry' between the two boys (even though they had never met and Edward wasn't even aware that Jacob existed). But Bella loved hanging out with Jacob, as long as he remembered that they were just friends.

_Maybe this is just what I need_, Bella thought. _Maybe Jake can tell me what to do about this mess_.

Rosalie's words had gotten Bella thinking, but now she was more confused than ever. She wasn't sure how she felt anymore, or what to do about everything, but she knew she wanted to fix it. She didn't want to have to avoid Edward anymore, even if an actual relationship didn't work out.

As soon as the Swans pulled up outside the Blacks house, Jacob bounded down the steps to greet them.

"Hey, Jacob," Charlie greeted him.

"Hello, Chief Swan," Jake responded, rushing over to open Bella's door. "Dad's already settled down in front of the TV, if you want to go straight inside. He's been looking forward to this all week."

Charlie nodded before rushing to find him. Clearly Billy hadn't been the only one looking forward to the game.

"Hey, Bella," Jacob greeted her as she got out of the car.

"Hey, Jake." Bella gave him the once-over. "Did you get taller again?"

He laughed. "Probably. It's been a few months since I last saw you."

They were both silent as memories from the last time they were together washed over them.

"Well, we can't let so much time pass between visits," Bella declared, trying to cover the awkward silence. "Otherwise you'll be so tall I won't recognize you anymore."

Jacob laughed loudly. "I doubt that. I'll double over so we'll be equal and you can see my beautiful face."

Bella tried to shove him playfully, but Jake was huge and didn't even budge. He raised an eyebrow at her efforts and she just rolled her eyes and started inside. Things were nice and easy between them, just as they had always been. Bella knew that they would talk, but for the moment she just reveled in the comfort she only felt in Jacob's presence. His sunny personality was already starting to warm the hole in her heart.

* * *

After eating a late lunch in front of the TV, Bella and Jacob escaped from their fathers, who were still watching the game, and went for a walk along the beach, as they usually did while their dads hung out. They didn't get very far before Jake stopped and turned toward his companion.

"Okay, Bella, no more stalling. It's time for you to tell me what happened last time."

Bella sighed. She knew better than to try to play dumb. It could be very annoying to have a friend who knew you so well.

Jacob lead her toward a fallen tree trunk that they usually sat on. After another pause, he nudged her shoulder. "You know you can tell me anything."

Bella looked at his face, so earnest, so eager to help her sort through her life's problems. She loved his face, she loved him, but she had always known that her love for Jacob was a brotherly love. It wasn't like the love she felt for Edward. But then again, did she really love Edward? She had thought so for the longest time, but now she wasn't so sure. Her feelings were all jumbled, and she wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Bella was silent for so long that Jacob was starting to get uncomfortable. He was about to repeat his question when she finally answered him. She told him everything, from the dancing to the bathroom conversation to the talk with Rosalie. When she finished, Jacob just sat there, silent. Bella could tell that he had something to say, but he just wasn't sure how to word his response.

"Don't give yourself a brain hemorrhage, Jacob," Bella joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Just spit it out."

"Well, I'm just trying to figure out how to say this diplomatically, Bella. I'm obviously on Team Jacob, so that doesn't exactly make me an unbiased third-party." Bella rolled her eyes. "But, I do have to say that Rosalie has a point. I know you were upset that night, I know that better than anyone, but what I don't get is why you ran. I thought that he hurt you or something, but from what you've said, he didn't do anything."

Bella sighed. "I know, I know. He was great. Perfect. That night started off as the perfect fairy-tale ending, but…"

"But what?"

"I don't know. I just - I'm still having a really hard time accepting that he actually likes me. For so long I've always just been the sister's best friend. I don't know how to be anything else to him."

"But you've always been something else to him. You don't ask your sister's best friend to give you rides home when you're so wasted you can't even lift your head. At least, most normal people don't."

"I guess." Bella looked out across the water, and Jacob looked at her. He could see the emotions play across her face, and it hurt him to know that she was so upset and confused.

"But," Bella continued, "it's just so weird. My brain can't wrap itself around the possibility that Edward actually likes me. All my life, my relationship with Edward has been defined by the fact that he doesn't love me back. I've gotten so used to this unrequited love that anything else is just so - so _weird_. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm _way _outside my comfort zone. I mean, look at what happened at prom. I was happy, but it was like I just couldn't accept that fact that I was happy. I sabotaged myself. He didn't do anything. It's not even Lauren's fault; she didn't know I was listening to her conversation. I was _looking _for an excuse to mess it up, because - because I'm afraid."

Bella fell silent, contemplating her epiphany.

"Of what?" Jake asked when she stopped talking.

"Of - of - of letting Edward close and then losing him. Of him breaking my heart. I'm afraid that this is all a dream, and I'm gonna wake up and realize that I still have no chance with him. It was okay before, because I kept myself from hoping for it. But now, after all this, I can't help but think that maybe… Or maybe this is all just some elaborate cruel joke that someone's playing on me. Or maybe-"

"Whoa, there," Jacob interrupted. "Now, you're just jumping to conclusions. This isn't a dream, and I doubt it's just a joke. Alice is your friend, and she would _never _let her brother do that to you." Bella nodded. He was right, of course. She was jumping to conclusions again. "As for the others, I can't guarantee that he won't hurt you or break your heart or leave somehow. But" - Jake couldn't believe he was telling her this - "he's already broken your heart, and you've survived. Bella, you can't live life worrying about losing people, because people come and go. You're a fighter, Bells, not a quitter. You can't give up before you've even start."

Bella turned back to the water, and the two fell into a comfortable silence, each thinking about the conversation. Eventually Bella linked her arm through his and leaned against him, placing her head on his shoulder. It was getting cold, and Jake was warm, and Bella was too tired to remember she was trying to discourage his feelings.

"Thank you, Jake."

He bent and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Anytime, sweetheart."

They sighed in contentment.

A while later Bella lifted her head. "Jake, do you think that, well, he even still likes me?" she asked in a small voice.

Jake looked down at his best friend. She had always been insecure, and he always did his best to try to reassure her, but one day her lack of confidence was going to cost her.

"If he's half as smart as you say he is, he is still madly in love with you and is currently making plans to win you back."

"Really?"

"Of course. At least, that's what _I_ would do."

"Jake."

But Jacob just smiled at her. "He'd be crazy not to love you, Bella." She smiled up at him. "Of course," he continued, "I'm counting on him being insane, 'cause otherwise I don't stand a chance."

Bella pushed Jacob playfully, but he didn't budge. He chuckled, and soon they settled back to their previous positions.

"You know," Bella said conversationally, "one day, you are going to meet an incredible girl who adores you as much as you deserve. And you're going to fall madly and passionately in love with her, and it will be as if she's the only thing holding you to this world."

Jacob smiled. "Maybe. But so far, I've only met one incredible girl, and I don't think she adores me as much as I adore her."

Bella blushed, but didn't respond. It always unnerved her how easily he spoke of his feelings for her. She didn't feel the same way about him, but sometimes she wished that she did. It would certainly simplify things. Bella hoped that Jake would get over her soon. He deserved far better than what she could give him, and it killed her to know that he also had an unrequited love.

* * *

Bella enjoyed spending the day at La Push; it had been just what she needed. She was still thinking about her conversation with Jacob when she entered her room. She looked around for her phone, which she had forgotten to bring. The screen was flashing.

"Twenty messages! I don't think I've ever had that many," she said to herself. _Except for prom night_…

Bella pushed aside her thoughts and worriedly flipped open her phone; that many messages was not a good sign. She quickly pressed the button for voice mail.

"Bella, when you get this, come over," she heard Jasper say. "Something happened to the Cullen's grandpa and…" Bella didn't wait to hear what happened. She was out the door, keys in hand, before the first message was over.

* * *

Bella rushed to the Cullen house, entering without knocking.

"Alice!" she called once inside. "Alice! Where are you?"

"Bella?" Alice's voice was coming from the living room. Bella followed the sound; she found them gathered in the room. She went to Alice's side instantly and crouched down next to her best friend.

"Alice, what happened?"

The simple question caused Alice to burst into tears. Her red-rimmed eyes told of the many times she had already cried that day, and Bella looked helplessly at Jasper.

"It's her grandpa," Jasper answered the question in Bella's eyes. "He passed away last night. Carlisle and Esme are driving up there right now. Emmett is looking for Edward."

Bella looked around, for the first time noticing that the two brothers were missing. _How dare he run on today of all days?_

"Apparently Edward left as soon as they got the phone call this morning," Jasper continued. "We haven't heard from him for hours. Esme calls every hour or so to see if he checked in. I think she might be at the end of her rope. Last time she called…" Jasper paused, as if debating whether it would be wise for him to continue. "Well, she's really stressed right now, and her son is not helping the situation any."

Bella glanced at the clock. It was almost ten at night.

"What time did you say they got the call?" she asked Jasper.

"I'm not sure. I don't think it was that late, though." He looked around for confirmation, but Alice was still sobbing and Rosalie just shrugged. Bella could tell Rose was worried about her boyfriend.

Bella stood. "I'm gonna go get him."

"Get who?" Rosalie asked.

"Edward." Bella grabbed her purse and started walking toward the door.

"Bella," Jasper said, "we have no idea where he is or who he's with or what he's been doing. It- it might not be so safe to be around him right now."

"I know."

"Bella," Rosalie cautioned, "don't be stupid. This family can't handle another tragedy."

Bella nodded before leaving. "Just call Emmett and tell him to come home. I'll take care of Edward," she said with confidence.

She was going to bring Edward back, no matter the cost. He had no right to abandon his family; they needed him now more than ever, and she was not going to let him continue to run away. _He was supposed to have changed_.


	16. Ch 15: Stop Running

Bella knew of several hang-outs where Edward was probably hiding, but he could be anywhere. She was just following her gut feelings on this one, and she was willing to continue searching until she found him, no matter how long it took. For now, she simply drove around to his favorite get-drunk spots, looking for him.

She ended up outside Tyler's house. An end-of-summer/good-bye party was in full swing, and Bella spotted Edward's car parked down the street. She sighed, bracing herself for the sure-to-be uncomfortable business of dragging Edward away from the party and back home.

The house smelled strongly of alcohol, and a cloud of smoke hit Bella as soon as she walked through the front door. She crinkled her nose at the smell, but continued on. She prayed that she found him quickly. She looked around, feeling very out of place, but she couldn't see him anywhere. She sighed. He could easily be in one of the numerous bedrooms doing God-knows-what with who-knows-who, and Bella didn't exactly relish the thought of having to extricate him from _that_.

"Hey, gorgeous."

Bella turned to see a greasy, drunk guy trying to look seductive. She groaned inwardly.

"Are you talking to me?" she asked, trying not to vomit when he opened his mouth and she could smell his breath.

"Of course, beautiful," he said, tipping back the beer bottle he held. He set the now-empty bottle on the counter before turning back to her. "I don't think I've seen you here before. Are you here with someone?"

"Yes." Bella wanted to end the conversation as quickly as possible, so she turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm. She winced. He was stronger than she thought.

"Come on, pretty lady. Don't be like that."

"Let go of me."

"No way," he smiled at her, but the sight of his yellowed teeth made her want to puke. His attempts at seduction were failing miserably, but drunk or not, he was stronger than her.

"Please, let me go," she begged, hoping that the new approach would confuse him enough that she could pull free. It didn't work.

"Not a chance in hell," he answered. "I'm never gonna let you go."

Bella started struggling in earnest, for the first time actually scared of what this man would do to her. No one was going to help her, and she wasn't strong enough to fight him off on her own.

"Please! Let me go!"

But all of her struggling only caused him to grip harder. Bella winced, tears coming to her eyes. She continued to yell, but no one even noticed.

"Please," she begged again, about to give up her futile struggle.

The drunk man just laughed, his breath repulsive. "Trust me, sugar. After tonight, you're gonna be begging me to hold you."

"Please, let me go."

But her begging fell on deaf ears.

"Please!"

She was sobbing now, but the man was already pulling her through the crowd, presumably toward a vacant bedroom.

"Please!"

"Let her go!" A pale fist blasted the drunk man on the side of his head, sending him flying.

Bella whirled around to see her savior.

Edward was standing there, hands fisted at his sides, clearly trying to regain control over his temper.

"Geez, Cullen! That hurt!" The drunk let out a long string of profanities as he tried to get up.

"Don't touch her ever again, James," Edward ground out between his teeth.

James seemed surprised at the murderous look on Edward's face. "Okay, okay, just relax man. I didn't realize she was here with you. Can't blame a guy for trying."

"Just leave before I do something you'll regret."

He looked legitimately scared now, and he turned and walked away as quickly as possible. James had seen Edward get in a bar fight before.

Only after he left did Bella realize she was shaking. Edward was pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to control the fury that threatened to overflow. He glanced at Bella, and saw the terror in her eyes. That cooled his anger instantly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, not necessarily gently, but he was regaining more control with each second that passed.

"Umm, yes. At least, I think so."

"Did he hurt you?"

Bella shook her head, still trying to understand what had just taken place. Edward grabbed her hand and began to lead her through the crowd toward the exit. Bella was surprised that he didn't seem drunk.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Alice told me what happened."

Edward felt the hopelessness wash over him again at the reminder. Why couldn't the world just leave him alone?

"Why are you here? You should know better than to come to a crazy party like this in the middle of the night, all alone. What if something worse had happened to you? What if I wasn't here to stop James? What if-"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Bella interrupted. "It was stupid of me to come here, but it's not like it's the first time. I've had to drag your butt out of worse places than this. And what else could I do? Your mom is so worried about you, and you wouldn't answer your phone."

"I ran out of battery."

"Edward, that's hardly an excuse. You should be home right now anyway. You can't run away from your problems forever."

"Who said I'm running away?"

"Oh, please. This is just like you. Whenever you want to forget something, you run. When you feel helpless or lonely or angry, you go to a party. Somehow you think that being with other helpless, lonely, angry people will help make _your _problems go away. Well, I got news for you, mister. This" -she waved her arms ambiguously, encompassing the whole place- "can't help you. When you go home, your problems will just get worse 'cause now you have to deal with them with a hangover. So stop making your mother worry and just go home now. Because I'm sick of your selfishness. You're family needs you, Edward. You can't run away forever."

Edward was silent throughout this whole speech. Bella was right, of course, about all of it. He always came here to forget his problems, and it usually made them worse. But he didn't know what else to do. After that phone call, he'd had to get out of the house. It was as if the walls were closing in on him.

Edward looked at his feet, ashamed. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't know what else to do."

Bella's heart broke at the vulnerability in his voice. She knew Edward had been very close to his grandfather, and he'd never reacted to change well.

"It's alright, Edward," she said, her anger cooling into understanding. "Let's just get you home."

Bella was about to turn to leave, but she was stopped by Edward's arms wrapping around her.

"Thank you, Bella," he whispered in her ear, "for always coming after me. Even when I don't deserve it."

Bella tried really hard not to react to his words and the feeling of his body against hers. She had already made her decision about him, but it was so hard to refuse him when he was acting like this. She tried to laugh it off.

"Gosh, Edward," she joked, "just how much did you drink?" Bella stepped away, and Edward let his arms fall to his side, even as they were aching to hold her again.

"Nothing."

Bella's eyes bugged out. "Nothing?"

"Well, some water. But no alcohol."

"Really?" she asked incredulously.

"Bella, I haven't had any alcohol for months. I've been trying to change. Surely you know that."

"Well, yeah, but I never thought you could change that much." Bella blushed as soon as the words left her mouth. She hadn't meant to imply that she didn't trust or believe him, but it was too late now.

"Oh."

"It's just…" Bella trailed off, unsure of how to explain it.

"I get it." He started to walk away.

"Edward, wait." She reached out and grabbed his arm. "Ever since eighth grade, almost every time I've seen you, you've been wasted. It's just hard for me to believe that you aren't that guy anymore."

"Maybe if you hadn't avoided me, it would be easier to believe."

Bella blushed again and looked down. He was right, of course.

Edward looked at her and sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to bring that up."

"No, you're right. I have avoided you, but it's just weird that you've changed. It's like I don't know you anymore."

"Did you really know me so well to begin with?"

Bella looked up at him. What was he talking about?

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Bella, I have been in love with you for years. I didn't realize it until sophomore year, but I think I must have loved you since the beginning. That was the reason why I called you to pick me up the first time. Your name was the only one I could think of, and Tyler just assumed... And then after, I wanted an excuse to be around you. But usually in the time between the call and when you actually got there, I would freak out and think that you would be able to see through the act or that I would say something really stupid because my filter was off, so I would just drink more and then I would pass out before you arrived, defeating the whole purpose of calling you. But you were oblivious, weren't you? You never had a clue."

Bella shook her head, amazed.

"I couldn't tell you. I mean, you're Alice's best friend, not to mention the fact that you deserve someone who isn't screwed up like me. And why would you ever want me?" Bella tried to interrupt, to protest, but Edward continued, "But this year, something changed. I think it was during the Christmas party. Or maybe when you called me out on how poorly I was treating Tanya. Whenever it was, I decided that I _would _change. I wanted to be good enough for you, to be worthy of your friendship, at least. It was hard, at first. No one starting noticing any differences until much later, but I was determined. And then prom came, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, we could actually be together."

Bella could feel tears starting to form. She'd had no idea he felt that way. He had hinted at his feelings at times, and he had said lots of things while he was drunk, but Bella never once truly believed that he could care about her. Even now...

Edward leaned closer, gently lifting her chin with his finger. "Bella," he whispered lovingly, "what happened? Why did you run out?"

Bella gulped. She looked into his eyes, his beautiful green eyes, but she didn't know what to say. How was she supposed to tell him that the only reason she ran out on him was because she was being stupid?

"Bella, please. Talk to me." Edward's finger stroked her cheek gently, distracting her.

"Edward, I-"

Bella was interrupted by her phone ringing. She took a deep breath to swallow her tears before answering. "Hello?"

"Bella, it's Jasper. Have you found Edward yet?"

"Yeah, he's right here," Bella responded, taking a step back from Edward. He allowed her the space, but even from that distance she could see the sadness in his eyes. "We're about to head home."

"Really? That's great." The relief was evident in Jasper's voice. Bella smiled.

"We'll see you soon."

"Alright. Hurry."

Bella hung up before turning back to Edward.

"We should get back," she said.

Edward nodded. He walked her to her car, but put a hand on her arm just as she was about to get in. Bella turned and looked at him.

"Bella, are you ever going to talk to me?" he asked quietly.

She couldn't meet his eyes. "Let's just go home, Edward," she said after a moment. "The others are worried about you."

Edward nodded. He walked to his car, and then followed Bella to his home. But his mind was on the girl in the other car. She knew everything now. He had no more secrets. But the real question was whether or not she would accept him now that she knew the truth. He would find out sooner or later. He just hoped that the answer was yes.

* * *

Bella followed Edward into the house and saw him walk straight to Alice. He wrapped her in a big hug.

"I'm so sorry, Alice. So sorry." The two siblings sobbed together. Emmett had been in the kitchen with Rose, but he joined them after he realized Edward was back.

Bella could feel her own tears surfacing as she watched the emotions of her friends. Their grandfather was gone, but they would make it through this crisis. Bella knew she would have to talk to Edward eventually, and that scared her. She wasn't sure if she would be able to face him, to follow through with her plan. After all, she had never been able to resist him.

Bella sat with the siblings for a bit longer. She still had to call Charlie and let him know what was going on and that she would be staying over. She sighed. It was going to be a long night.


	17. Ch 16: Goodbye

Weeks passed, and Bella still had not spoken to Edward. She didn't go out of her way to avoid him anymore, but neither did she seek him out. She wanted to give him space to deal with his grandpa's death, but if she was truly honest with herself, she was just being a coward. As long as they didn't discuss their relationship, no one would get hurt. But Edward was leaving for Dartmouth soon, and time was running out.

It was the night before Edward's flight, and Bella was debating whether or not she should go to the Cullen's house. Maybe he wanted to spend the night with his family. Would he want her there? Did he even want to see her again after the way she treated him?

Bella was still wrestling with those questions when the doorbell rang. She stared at the boy standing on her porch.

"What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk, Bella," Edward replied, stepping into the house.

"What do you want to talk about?" Bella asked once they were in the family room.

"Well, why don't we start with prom?"

Bella was surprised by the anger in his voice. She looked down, ashamed. "Edward…"

"Don't you think I have a right to know why my date ditch me without a word?" he asked when she didn't continue.

She nodded, but still she hesitated.

"Come on, Bella. This whole silent-treatment is getting really old. I'm leaving tomorrow. We have to talk about this."

"It was just stupid, okay?" Bella said, growing defensive. "I was just being stupid. When I overheard Lauren and Jess talking in the bathroom about us, I started to doubt why you asked me. And then when I realized that I shouldn't believe Lauren over you, I started to doubt us. Because I did believe her over you, which is way messed up. At first I thought it was because I didn't trust you."

"You don't trust me?" Edward interrupted, hurt.

"Well, you see, that's what I _thought_. We've been through a lot, and I've seen you treat a lot of girls like crap. But that was just a cover up. You never treated me like that, so I really had no reason not to trust you except it was… convenient."

Edward arrogantly raised an eyebrow at her words, but Bella could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I mean, it was just an excuse," she continued. "A good excuse, mind you, but an excuse all the same."

"So you didn't talk to me for months because of an excuse?"

Bella could hear the judgment in his voice.

"No. I'm trying to explain to you my thought process," she exclaimed, frustrated. "Stop interrupting me."

"You just said you avoided me for no good reason."

"That would have been an excellent reason, Edward. It just wasn't _my _reason. But it could have been, easily. I know you've been trying to change, but that doesn't erase how you used to act. Honestly, Edward, how many? How many girls have you screwed?"

"What does that have to do with this?"

"You don't know, do you? Of course not. Too many to count, right?"

"I thought that was just an _excuse_." He was mocking her now, angered by her accusations.

Bella flushed, but continued. "It was. What I was _trying _to say, is that I thought I didn't trust you, but then I realized that it was me I didn't trust."

"What do you mean?"

"Edward, look at yourself. You're gorgeous and smart and funny and talented and you can play the piano really well and you have this great family and you're going to one of the top schools in the nation. Any girl would be so incredibly lucky to have you look twice at her. And look at me. I'm just a plain, clumsy girl who's still in high school and has little else to offer. Why in the world would you pick me? Especially once you leave."

"Bella -"

"I don't - I don't trust myself to be good enough to hold onto you, Edward. And I don't expect you to sacrifice anything for me."

"Bella, it's not a sacrifice if I _want _to do it. And where did you get this ridiculous idea that you have nothing to offer?"

"Edward, look at us. We're like night and day. We don't belong together."

"Neither did Romeo and Juliet."

"And look how well that turned out."

"You don't have to be so cynical, Bella."

"Look at my parents, Edward. How could I be anything but?"

"Do you love me?"

"What?" Bella asked, taken aback by the question.

"Do you love me?"

"I…"

"Bella."

She nodded.

"Say it. Out loud. Say it."

"I love you," she whispered.

Edward closed his eyes, reveling in the feelings that flooded his heart at her words. She loved him, and that was all that mattered. Until she opened her mouth again.

"But it's not enough, Edward."

"What?" His voice was like the crack of a whip.

"You're leaving tomorrow."

"So?"

"So… we can't be together."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"It would never work."

"How do you know? We haven't even tried yet."

"Exactly!" she cried. "We haven't been on one date yet. And you expect us to maintain a relationship 3,000 miles apart?"

"We can make it work."

"No, we can't! Look, Edward, I understand that you've been trying to change for me, and I appreciate it, but once you're there, you'll be in college. With college girls. And I know I can never compare to them, and it won't be long before they figure out how amazing you are. It'll be like nothing ever changed."

"Bella, I'm not going back to what I used to be. Those girls I dated, they never meant anything to me. You're different. You always have been. The others, they were just… distractions."

"From what?"

"You."

Bella was shocked. "What?"

"Bella, I've loved you from the beginning," he explained, "but I didn't do anything because of Alice. I didn't want things to end badly and for her to have to choose between the two of us. And it sucked. I really liked you, but I had to sit back and watch all those other guys chase you, knowing that they weren't good enough, knowing that _I _wasn't good enough. But eventually, my self-control just snapped. Girls started noticing me, and I needed to keep my mind off you. So I dated one. And then another. And another. And none of them compared to you, but I was desperate. And then I realized that I didn't have to actually date them to get what I needed. The alcohol, the girls, it was all to keep my mind off you. But you still took care of me, and then… well, then this year happened. I'm an essentially selfish person, Bella, as you know, and I could only stay away for so long. I want to be with you. Even after all these years. I know I still don't deserve you, but I'm working on it. If you would just wait for me."

"Edward…"

"Look, Bella, prom got really messed up, I know, but I asked you because I wanted to go with you. No one else. That hasn't changed. I still like you, more than I should."

Bella was silent for a while, digesting what he'd said. "So where does this leave us, Edward? You're leaving tomorrow, and I'm stuck here."

"But we could still be together. A long-distance relationship -"

"- would never work. As much as I love you, Edward, it wouldn't work. I don't trust… us. At this point, it doesn't even matter anymore what we feel."

"But Bella, it doesn't have to be this way."

"What else is there to do, Edward? Either we're together or we're not. And I don't know if I can handle being with you, especially if you're not even here. I think… I think it's over."

Pain shot through her heart as she said the words, but the feeling was multiplied in Edward's chest. He had waited too long to try to change, and now it was too late. She would never be his.

"I- I'm sorry." He was apologizing for so many things with those simple words.

"Yeah. Me too." She couldn't look at him. She knew her misery was mirrored in his eyes.

"If you change your mind…"

Bella nodded. But they both knew she wouldn't.

"Umm… well, I guess I'll go now."

Bella nodded again, still not looking at him.

"Will I see you again?"

Bella didn't respond. Edward nodded slowly, knowing exactly how she felt. He wasn't sure he would be able to leave if he saw her again. But he had to go. He had other dreams to chase.

"Good-bye, beautiful Bella. I wish… well, I wish things had turned out differently."

Bella waited until he left before whispering, "Not all stories have a fairytale ending, Edward."

* * *

Today was the day. Edward was leaving for college. Bella woke up in the morning exhausted; she was still in her clothes from last night, tears dried on her face. She had a terrible headache, and her throat was sore. Just the memory of last night made her want to break down again. She groaned as her phone rang loudly.

"Hello?"

"Bella!" Alice's voice was frantic. "Bella! Where are you?"

"What? I'm at home. What's wrong?"

"Get your butt over here! Edward's leaving soon. You can't let him go without saying goodbye first!"

"Oh, Alice." Bella's voice was sad. The tears threatened again. "I- I'm not going to say goodbye." She whispered the last part.

"But Bella -"

"I can't Alice. I just can't."

Bella hung up and burst into tears again. Her whole body shook with her sobs, and she felt her heart breaking into more pieces.

Her phone rang again. Alice's name flashed across the screen. Bella groaned and threw her phone across the room.

Her phone rang again. And again. And again. Every five minutes for the next half hour. Finally Bella got up to turn her phone on silent. It rang in her hand and she glanced down again. She nearly dropped her phone.

Her hand shook as she opened it up. "Hello?"

"Bella?" The velvety voice that answered her sent a shiver down her spin.

"Yes?" she whispered.

"Are - are you coming?"

Bella tried to keep her tears at bay, but a sob broke through. "I can't Edward. I - I'm sorry. Have a safe trip."

She hung up and broke down again. She was surprised she still had any tears left.

* * *

Edward looked at his phone in shock. She'd hung up. She'd been crying, he was sure of it. He turned to Alice.

"What do I do?"

Alice's heart broke. She had never seen her brother look so helpless. "I wish I knew, Edward. I wish I knew."

Edward took a deep breath before looking at his watch again. "I have to go. I can't put it off any longer. I'm cutting it short as it is." He felt deep pain in his chest when he realized that he might never see Bella again. He had messed up with her, and it killed him inside. He had a new life ahead of him, but he couldn't seem to shake off the ghost of his past.

Edward said his goodbyes to his family. He got in the car with his dad, ready to leave. Something was holding him back, but he knew that it was time to go. Bella had had plenty of time to show up, and she had refused. It shouldn't have surprised him, after last night, but he had hoped. He didn't deserve her, and she didn't deserve him. He had always known that, but every time he thought about it, he felt a shooting pain through his chest. He wondered when, or if, the pain would go away.

* * *

Hours passed. Bella sat in her room, staring out the window. It was raining. Again. She wasn't surprised; even God was crying today. But not her. Not anymore. She had no tears left. She had cried more than enough for one lifetime.

Edward was gone. Next year, she and Alice would go to college. Eventually she would lose contact with her best friend, and they would all go their separate ways. It wasn't a surprise; it was life. It should have hurt, but her heart was empty of all emotions. She just sat there, staring out the window. She saw nothing. She heard nothing. She felt nothing.

She was numb.

* * *

_The biggest tragedy in life is what could have been…_


	18. Epilogue: Happily Ever After

_9 months later…_

Edward looked out the plane window. He was headed home after his first year of college, and as excited as he was to see his friends and family, there was a certain brunette who currently occupied his thoughts.

It had been nine months since he'd last seen Bella, since she'd told him it was over. And at the time, Edward truly had believed her. But a few months ago, Edward received an email that had rocked his world:

_Edward,_

_I got in to Dartmouth._

_-Bella_

Edward had been shocked. It was the first he'd heard from her since he left for college. Bella had avoided him during Christmas and spring break, and then suddenly she announced that she was accepted into his college. He didn't know what to make of it. Did that mean she was willing to be with him now that distance wasn't an issue? Did he really want that? And would she actually _go _to Dartmouth, or would she choose another school? He needed more than those five words; she _owed _him more than those five words.

Edward had missed her, of course. In fact, he was pretty sure he was still in love with her. Even though he'd met other girls, he was always comparing them to Bella, and they always fell short. But she had broken his heart, erasing any hope he'd had of a relationship with her.

On the other hand, her emails had continued after that first one. Bella had apologized and finally explained all her fears and doubts. Edward wasn't sure what they were going to do when they met again. _But at least we _will _meet again_, he reminded himself. The plane couldn't fly quickly enough for him.

* * *

Bella was nervous. Edward was coming home today, and she wasn't sure how she should act. She was excited and anxious, but she felt her doubts trying to drown her. She had worked on her confidence all year, and she'd finally grown up. Bella Swan was no longer an insecure high school girl who was oblivious to her blessings. She knew she could've handled the whole Edward situation better, but she was glad that she'd refused him at the end.

Edward Cullen was perfect. He always had been, and always would be, but by spending time apart, Bella was finally starting to feel as though she could hold her own standing next to him. She finally felt like his equal. All she needed now was for him to forgive her.

It had all started the day she cleaned out her dresser. She'd found the CD he'd made her for prom and realized that she'd never actually listened to it. She'd been too excited to listen when she first got it, and then she'd just forgot about it. But she'd played it that day, and everyday since.

Before the first track, Edward's voice explained that he had written the song for her. Bella was stunned when she recognized the first notes from the the song he'd played for her at the  
Christmas party the year before. He'd written that song for _her_. The thought brought tears to her eyes. Sobbing and listening to his CD, Bella had sat in front of her computer for hours, agonizing over what to say to him. She had to tell him, to thank him, to apologize to him. She had to explain everything, but the perfect words evaded her. Finally, a frustrated Bella stood up too quickly, knocking papers to the floor. Her eyes fell on her acceptance letter to Dartmouth, his college. Deciding quickly, she typed her short email and hit send before she could change her mind. They had been emailing each other ever since.

It had been a hectic year, what with choosing a college and all. Bella had eventually narrowed it down to Dartmouth and University of Washington. Academically, it was a no-brainer, but her friends made the decision difficult. Emmett and Rosalie were transferring to U-Dub, and both Jasper and Alice were incoming freshmen. On the other hand, Edward was at Dartmouth. The choice was harder than Bella expected. There was always that nagging feeling that Edward could never possibly want her, especially after the way she'd treated him. But Dartmouth was still a great school. But University of Washington was closer to home. But…

In the end, Bella was happy with her choice, and her friends and family supported her decision. She just wasn't sure what Edward would think. Or whether he would even care. Just because they were emailing does not mean that Edward wanted anything from her. He probably only felt obligated because of Alice; it wouldn't have been the first time.

Bella shook herself to clear her head. She had requested to pick Edward up by herself, and she wasn't sure if that would upset him or not. She really hoped not. There were still a few hours before Edward's plane landed, but she wanted to be ready for him. Ready for acceptance or rejection. It was more nerve-wrecking than college apps.

_Just a few more hours…

* * *

_

Edward walked through the airport, searching for both the baggage claim and his family. They were both here somewhere, but he felt so distracted, it was hard to concentrate. He was finally home. He would finally get some answers.

He found his bags first. A lot of his stuff had been shipped, so he didn't have that much luggage. He was carrying it toward the exit when he saw her.

She was disheveled and disoriented; it was clear that she had been running the moment before. She glanced down at her phone to check the time, and he thought he saw her mouth an expletive. He had thought that he would have more time before he had to face her, but all the dread that had been gathering in the pit of his stomach finally dissipated. He had forgiven her. She was here, and that was all that mattered. He started toward her.

"Bella!"

Her head shot up, her eyes scanning the crowd. When she saw him, she took off running toward him. He saw her stumble a few times, but she never fell. He had but a moment to drop his bags before she leaped into his open arms.

Bella melted as his arms wrapped tightly around her. She had wanted to act cool and collected and mature, but all of that had flown out the window the moment he shouted her name. He was here, and that was all that mattered.

"I missed you," she whispered.

Edward's arms tightened. "Oh, Bella," he whispered back, "you have no idea how much I've missed you."

He pulled away for an instant to look into her warm, brown eyes. Over a year ago, he had looked into those same eyes and seen doubt and wariness. This time, he saw only love. His lips descended to hers.

A while later, Bella pulled back to catch her breath. He pressed his forehead to hers, and they gazed into each others eyes.

"We still have to talk about this," Bella said.

Edward nodded.

Bella sighed, content. "I was wrong, you know."

Edward arched his eyebrow at her, and she smiled before explaining.

"This story does have a happily ever after."

Edward smiled her favorite crooked smile before his lips captured hers once again. _Happily ever after, indeed…_

THE END

* * *

**I want to thank everyone who read this story and all of my amazing reviewers. You guys are awesome, and I really appreciate all the support and love. May all of you find your own personal Edwards.**

**-ilovefood13**


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